The Guardian (Nigeria)

Does your Spouse No Longer Turn You On?

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MANY men and women have had cause to complain that their spouses are no longer sexually attractive. When some wives or husbands find themselves in such a situation, they say they are no longer in love. They say that their feelings for each other are as dead as dodo ( fried ripe plantain). Many of such marriages have ended in divorce, especially in the developed countries and the younger generation in the developing, under- developed and under- developing countries. Someone may wonder what I mean by the word under-developing country. I was discussing with someone sometime ago about what needs to be done to fix Nigeria. I said Nigeria is an under- developed country and not a developing country. This highly placed profession­al disagreed. He said a colleague of his abroad was able to convince him that Nigeria is an under- developing country and not under- developed or developing country.

Based on what I studied in my university days at Ife, I can boldly say that in the area of political developmen­t, Nigeria is under- developing politicall­y. And president Muhammadu Buhari’s advisers should decide to love Nigeria more by honestly helping him to chart a new political road that will unite Nigerians. Sorry I had to digress because if there is war, there may be no time to talk about about romance and sex.

Back to our topic, there is hardly any marriage when it does not come to a time, when the sexual attraction will not decrease. After constant exposure to each other over time, the law of diminishin­g marginal utility may come in. Whenever a couple notices that the sexual attraction and sexual satisfacti­on is decreasing, it is a sign that an alarm bell is beginning to blow. At this point, couples should begin to work on themselves by looking out for new attractive bedroom wears and a new dress sense within and outside the house, better body care and deliberate­ly looking for new ways to work on their sexual feelings and on their spouse’s sexual feelings. They have to try to look back at their peak periods, when they turned each other on easily and see how they bring back these periods and improve on them. This should be a deliberate action.

Sexual attractive­ness to your spouse in marriage is such a delicious pot of soup that you should not allow to go sour or

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