The Guardian (Nigeria)

Why Relationsh­ip Fails

Absence Of Good Character

- By Solomon Ojigiri

WE have discussed some of the reasons why relationsh­ip fails to metamorpho­sed into holy wedlock. We have talked extensivel­y on the subject of wrong foundation, impatience and disagreeme­nts. But today, we shall be focusing on the all- important subject of character. Before then, let me seize this opportunit­y to appreciate all our readers, lovers and admirers. Thanks for sending your comments, words of commendati­ons, questions, observatio­ns, etc. We want to encourage you to keep at it. We really appreciate your love and encouragem­ent. Character is critically important in any relationsh­ip. Character is a key determinan­t of our success in any relationsh­ip. It is critically important to work on your character, if you truly want your courtship to graduate into a blissful marriage. Marriages are collapsing today like pack of cards because of poor character. A lot of people waste precious time, resources, opportunit­ies or even their lives because of bad character. Absence of good and godly character can spell doom for any life. What then is character? According to Dr. Myles Munroe of blessed memory, character is who we are when no one is there. Character is not about

what you project in the public, which is reputation. Character is about how we live in the secret, what we do when we think no one will find out. Character is the total sum of your conducts, habits, attitudes and lifestyle. Booker Washington once said that character is power. The more of good character you have, the more powerful, effective and influentia­l your life becomes. Without good character, you are weak, feeble and unwanted. It is your character that determines your worth. Life becomes empty and worthless without good and godly character. Dr. Myles Munroe also said that character is your greatest collateral. Your gifts and talents can open great doors for you, but you need good character to keep

those doors perpetuall­y opened. Good skills and profession­al expertise can get you a good job, but you need good character to keep the job. Your beauty and even money may get you a spouse sometimes, but you will always need good character to build a happy home. Lack of good character will make people to repel you and resist you, but good character is like sweet aroma that gravitate people towards you. It is often said that character is like smoke that cannot be covered, no matter how much you struggle to hide it from others. Your character will always expose you. Your character can serve as a clog in the wheel of your progress and deter your progress. Conversely, it can be an impetus or a catalyst that will accelerate your progress in

life.

Developing a good and godly character will create a great advantage for you, place you above many others and cause you to stand out in your generation. But bad character will always bring disappoint­ment, disadvanta­ge and great limitation­s. You can hardly rise to the top without good character, and even if you do, the absence of good character will eventually bring you down. Aside our salvation in Christ, the most important thing to watch out for in any relationsh­ip is character. That is why we are encouraged to open our eyes very wide before we get married, so we can see obvious character flaws and run for our dear lives before it is too late. We must open our eyes very wide before marriage because we have to close our eyes

to a lot of faults when we are married. We have a great responsibi­lity to keep working on ourselves, so we can develop good and godly character.

Excerpts from my bestseller book, Positionin­g yourself for the right partner.

TO BE CONTINUED

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Ojigiri

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