Handling Family Mood Swings
AWISE person once said: “The necessity of seeing lies in the ability to see well.” I have come across many husbands who do not even notice when their wives are unhappy or emotionally withdrawn. I have also seen wives who are oblivious of their husband’s mood swings.
As a spouse, you must be able to understand when y our spouse is unhappy. By observing his/ her mood, you can easily tell if he/ she is bothered by something or if he/ she is emotionally withdrawn.
Some spouses make the grave mistake of ignoring their parents who are emotionally distant. They assume their spouses will come out of their emotional withdrawal when they are ready. This is a wrong attitude. Ignoring your spouse will further drive him/ her away from you because he/ she may feel you do not care.
At such moments when your spouse begins to withdra w emotionally, you should be more alert to his/ her physical and emotional needs. Spend more time with your partner and constantly assure him/ her of your love.
Husbands must note that some days before their wives’ menstrual cycle, doctors have researched that some are prone to bouts of depression and mood swings. This also occurs during some phases of pregnancy. With this understanding, men should be more attentive to their wives at such moments.
When you notice your spouse is beginning to withdraw emotionally from you, make conscious efforts to rectify the situation. Minimise quarrels at such periods and, instead, shower that him/ her with love and attention. Little things like preparing a fa vourite dish, bringing home a surprise gift, going out to his/ her fa vourite spots, among others, go a long way in bringing y our spouse out of his/ her emotional shell. If you cannot handle the emo - tional withdrawal circle, go for counseling.
A teenage girl, who used to be very lively and bubbling, sud - denly withdrew into a shell quiet and sad. She started locking herself in her bedroom and spending more time away from her family. Her strange behaviour attracted the attention of her parents who wondered why their once happy daughter was suddenly replaced by a sullen girl.
Sometimes, children especially those in their teenage years experience bouts of depression and withdrawal. They may just get moody for no reason and emotionally withdrawn into their shells.
Medical experts have associated these bouts of emotional withdrawal to the hormonal changes that take place during the years of transition from childhood to adulthood. Some may be bad behaviour or even demonic.
A parent’s response to an emotionally withdrawn child can contribute either in making the child withdraw more or making the child come out of his/ her shell. Parents should be sensitive enough to notice when their children’s moods change. Instead of getting angry at the child for withdrawing emotionally, show more love at this stage. Your anger will only drive that child away from you. All the child needs is constant love.
Lovingly sit your child down and ask questions like: “I can see you are sad/ angry/ hurt tell me what the problem is so we can solve it together.” Even if the child refuses to respond, keep showering him/ her with love and after a short while, that child will budge.
Do not lose your children to the devil of depression. Show them love and give them practical ways that they can use in making themselves happy.