How Can I Solve This Problem?

IHAVE a problem of losing my temper very easily. I usually utter rude words to my loved ones, even though I don’t actually mean them. I have been in two relationships and both of them ended because I have a poor anger management. I always insult my partner whenever we get into an argument.

In my most recent relationship, the girl broke up with me because I said all types of mean things to her during an argument. It happened on the same day she was discharged from the hospital after being treated of a kidney infection.

We broke up for a month, but we slowly began to talk again. She admitted that she still loves me. We got back together again, but it only lasted for two weeks. Her father was against our relationship and forced her to cut ties with me. She informed me of what happened. I lashed out again, because I was angry that she broke up with me just because of her father’s position.

The issue is, she still loves me, even though she broke up with me. I told her that any other girl would be better than her and that I would kill myself if I ever married her. That statement hurt her a lot. But, whenever we were in a good mood, without any argument, it felt like heaven on earth.

I hate myself for being like this. Many problems in my relationship could have been solved if I always remained calm and cool rather than throw tantrums whenever there was a misunderstanding. I have realised this and I want to be calm in tense situations. I get into arguments with my parents a lot too and I sometimes use hurtful language towards them. I feel so bad.

Has anyone else gone through this? How can I solve this problem? How can I remain calm during tense arguments while your emotions are running high?

Re: How Can I Solve This Problem?

ANGER is a tricky thing. It can take control of our minds and mouths and cause damage that can never be repaired. I do not how old you are, but did you grow up in a home with a lot of fighting and/ or abuse? Are you on any kind of medication, or consume alcohol or use drugs recreationally? These can be contributing factors. It might not be a bad thing to talk to a professional about this behaviour. There is nothing wrong with admitting you have a problem and seeking help so that you can lead a happy and productive life.

Advice: Please dear readers mail your comments, reactions or true love stories, quiz or personal experience you wish to share to this email: simonclar @ yahoo. com

For marriage counseling, please call Simon on 07032944123

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