Talking Motherhood And Career With EBELECHUKWU NWACHUKWU

Through the course of the month, we have been talking about women with big-enough strength to power through the biases that society has conditioned them to—one of those biases is with motherhood and its journey, or lack of. The human design which has women as both carriers and primary caregivers of children has oftentimes manifested as a perceived biological disadvantage, especially for women leaders in the corporate world. This didn't stop NSIA Insurance Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer, Ebelechukwu Nwachukwu in her decade-long wait to become a mother. Ebelechukwu Nwachukwu's influence in the insurance sector cannot be overstated. Her track record of success could easily serve as a blueprint for young women not just in the Insurance industry alone, but for anyone with lofty dreams.

When Nwachukwu, who is set to be named the first-ever female Chairman of the Nigerian Insurers Association, had this virtual chat with DOWNTOWN's writer Kehindé Fagbule, her graciousness shone through the screen as her little humans warmed up to their mum at intervals. The conversation includes the boom of the insurance sector in Nigeria, her rise up the ranks over her 28-year–and counting–career, and today being Mothering Sunday, the 11-year pregnancy wait that ended during the lockdown when she, together with her husband, welcomed three beautiful kids at once.

You hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in Linguistics from UNIBEN and then an MBA from the ESUT Business School, Enugu. Why did you choose insurance at a time when it wasn't exactly commonplace in Nigeria?

After I graduated from the University of Benin, I got posted to Lagos for my national youth service program. I lived with my aunt, Franca Alayo, who reached out to family friends to help me get an office for my primary assignment. A great man called Dr Festus Okubor then invited me to serve in International Standard Insurance. Before that, quite frankly, I had not heard much about insurance, neither did I know much except I knew the name Bendel Insurance which existed in Benin City where I schooled.

Of course, I was so happy to have a great place to serve, and that's how I got into the business. At the time, Dr Okubor was the head of the health insurance department, so naturally, I joined his department, and that's how it happened. It was an unintentional foray into insurance, but I loved it, and I have stayed for so long; this is my 28th year.

It's been such a long time ago… What improvements do you reckon the insurance industry has seen ever since?

We've grown due to the industry's evolution - there are more products, awareness, firms, world-class service infrastructure, and well-read people. As an industry, we are still not where we should be, but we have greatly improved since 1994 when I began my career.

However, many individuals still need to embrace insurance as a necessity, from health insurance to life insurance, to ensure that all their assets are protected. I believe that using insurance as a tool to expand a business and plan for different stages of life is critical. The word is progressively reaching Nigerians, but we, the insurance firms, still have a lot of work to do.

Your career progression is evident, and so are your results. What were some of the strategies you deployed?

My focus has always been on doing the right things, working hard, putting the firm, and the results required of me first. One of my guiding beliefs is to give my all in everything I do. Studying also aided me in fully comprehending my job. Most significantly, I must acknowledge that I have received a great deal of favour from the Almighty God, as many have worked just as hard as I have. That, I believe, is why I am where I am now. I am appreciative of every opportunity that has come my way.

You are now the Managing Director/Chief Executive Officer of NSIA Insurance Company Limited. How is this new role different from the ones you've held in the past?

My previous experiences have prepared me to do well at NSIA. My job is to create and implement strategies that help the company and its people grow. My primary obligation is to ensure that the company grows, employees advance, that shareholders receive a good return on their investment and that we uphold regulatory obligations.

You are the second Deputy Vice Chairman of the Nigerian Insurers Association. Later this year, you are going to be the first-ever female Chairman. It takes a great deal of focus and integrity to be where you are today. What are some of the principles you live by?

Simply put, integrity, hard effort, respect for others, attention, and a desire to achieve results. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to serve my whole industry in this capacity.

You got married in 2009 but only had children in 2020. What was the waiting period like?

It was not intentional. The first expectation that you have as a woman when you get married is that within the first year or two years, you will conceive and have a baby. When the first couple of years went by and we didn't have kids, I was under tremendous pressure, but my journey was made easier because my husband and I worked very closely. It was a challenge that we both took as ours, there was no fault-finding or finger-pointing, we just kept trusting God that we'd eventually become parents; it was not easy.

The highest criticism I got interestingly was from fellow women. I had lots of women who would say to me “why wouldn't you leave your job and go try to have a child?”. On one occasion, I said to one “you have four children and you were working when you had all four of them, why do I have to leave my job to have mine?” I've had many who said, “if you don't want to be pregnant, why don't you get a surrogate?” because they generally assumed that the reason I didn't have children was that I was focused on my career.

It was a difficult time. There was a lot of disrespect and hurtful comments, but I stayed happy and focused at work. I was confident that the almighty God would remember me someday. In fact, when I had kids, a lot of people were surprised to know that I didn't have kids all those years because it never showed. I celebrated children all the time—with

my colleagues and my siblings. It wasn't easy at all.

Were there times you and your husband almost gave up?

Interestingly, just before we got pregnant in 2019, I had told my husband that I didn't want to try anymore, because we had been to see doctors to help us, and I was ready to give up because the process wasn't easy. Fast forward to June 2019 my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday because my birth month is June. I said to him, “let's try one more time.” I guess it is God that made us try one more time because that ‘one more time' is the reason we have three children today.

What made you keep trying, and when you conceived, what was that moment like for you?

That's a question I've been asked too many times. Like I've said, we had some medical interventions, and I kept repeating those procedures even if many of them failed. What really kept us going was our desire to have children. When you want something, and you don't have it yet, you keep trying. So, we kept trying and remained steadfast knowing that God would eventually give them to us. We just did our part and kept at it.

When you conceived, what was that moment like for you?

I never understood when people say, “I was speechless” until it happened to me. When we went to the hospital to do the blood test, they told us the test would be ready in 30 minutes. My husband and I left the hospital despite the persuasion from the nurses to stay and wait for the result. We were a bit tense [laughs]. So, we went to have breakfast and we were sitting there for more than an hour because we didn't want to rush back to the hospital. We eventually went back, and the doctor looked at both of us and said “congratulations.” My jaw literally dropped, we were in shock like “how did this happen?” It was very exciting and scary at the same time.

I really don't know how to express it, but I was speechless. It was then made stronger three weeks later when we did the first scan and the doctor told us we were going to have three babies. That was quite shocking. It was a great moment. Immediately, we told our families and everyone that had been on the journey with us. It was exciting, scary, confusing. It was many things at the same time. It was unbelievable.

We always had prayed for twins. I was a regular at the Redeemed camp Shiloh hour and I joined every Halleluyah challenge with Nathaniel Bassey. Our Children are a testimony of the goodness and faithfulness of God.

From the moment you find out, you then deal with the anxiety of ‘how are they going to be' ‘are they going to be healthy because I was an older pregnant woman?' ‘What else do I need to do?' It was an amazing journey full of anxious moments, but then we held onto our faith. The pregnancy went well, and our children were born all in good health.

How has motherhood been so far? Tell us about your children.

It's been beautiful, it's been a blessing. I feel very grateful to have them in my life. They have distinct personalities, even though they grew up in the same womb and were born on the same day. They are a blessing and I'm just happy to be their mum. They are beginning to speak now, so they can say “mummy” and I think that is the greatest honour of my life yet; to be called mum. Sleep is a luxury I long for now but I am too grateful to complain.

You raise three beautiful children at the same time that you are responsible for illuminating Nigerians on insurance. How do you navigate through these interwoven realities when they sort of collide?

It's interesting because I'm a very hands-on mum and also a very hands-on CEO at the same time, so even I wonder how I do it. Let me start by saying sleep is a distant luxury for me now. However, the kids were born during the COVID-19 lockdown period, and that helped me in a lot of ways because I had to work from home— the entire country was working remotely anyway. It gave me some time to get adjusted. I was used to working and taking care of my kids before we resumed physically, so it wasn't so difficult to continue.

The key thing is really prioritising my tasks, doing what I should do when I should do it. When I wake up early in the morning, my focus is on my children. I bathe and dress them for the day and then I head out to work. I come back from work and pick up from where I left off in the morning. Yeah, I'm coping [laughs]. If they tell you it's easy, it's a lie. My career should not stop because I have kids and I don't think I should be absent in my children's lives because I'm a CEO. I think that women have the absolute capacity to do many things at the same time and can multitask. It is important that you remain in the mind space where you're encouraged to still fulfil your full potential even after having kids, it makes it a lot easier to manage when your mind is fixed. My organization makes it quite easy too. They make it easy for women to reintegrate into work after they've had kids. We have a crèche in the office for mothers who have just had babies. After maternity leave, they can come back to work with their babies. They can still take out time to go nurse their babies, while they're at work. For me, I didn't think that my work should stop, or my responsibilities should change, I just had to make sure that I know first and foremost that I'm a mother, a wife and also an executive. I'm coping with all. I thank God for His grace.

Today is Mothering Sunday. What do you think about the maternity leave law in Nigeria and its effect on the women's population in the corporate world?

I think the maternity leave law is not too bad. Six weeks before delivery and six weeks after, I don't think it is too bad. What I think they need to expand is probably the paternity leave law for men, so they can be free to help as well. Not only should the woman stop working, but I think the man should also be there to make it easier for the woman.

Women find different ways to cope, no one should judge them, because it really is not easy. It's a lot of adjustments when you have kids. So, if a woman decides to use an external crèche or solicit the help of family, whatever works for them, I think nobody should judge a woman for going back to work after they've had children. I think the maternity leave law is fair, at least for now.

Oftentimes we tell women how to behave and react to men and their usually misogynistic actions, with some stemming from implicit biases. We forget that if we don't teach boys how to behave, nothing changes.

As you've once mentioned, your dad's influence in your life helped you get to where you are today. How do you raise a son today with a view of creating a world void of bias?

Growing up, you'll find that in some homes, they will give specific chores and tasks to the girl child, and not give the same chores and tasks to the boy child. So, boys grow up thinking certain things are for women to do. I think that needs to change. Boys should be taught to cook and clean as the girls are taught the same.

Even though we wish for a world where there is no bias against women, I don't think it's going to go away. So, it is really not for us to wish that the men will change, it is for us to constantly realise our power, and continue to push the best that we can. I think all women should determine to always push boundaries, push beyond difficulties, and continue to strive to be all that God has created us to be. This is what I'll teach my son while teaching my daughters not to let anyone stop them.

Sadly, your dad passed away before you became a teenager and your mum had to raise you as a single mum. How did growing up with a single mother (without a father figure) shape you to become the woman you are today?

Well, my dad was very pro-women, he was very keen on us growing up not thinking of ourselves as being disadvantaged because we're female. Then he passed, and my mum had to be twice as focused and hard-working. All we did was just emulate her. We made her life as a single mum easy. We were very empathetic towards our mum, very respectful, we basically did everything that she said. We loved her deeply and dearly. Growing up with a strong mum who made sure we went to school, made us realize that we are unstoppable and capable to do all things.

What do you think about the stigma and bias against women who place their careers over procreation?

No one should judge a woman who decides not to have kids because having kids is a responsibility for which you have to be prepared. You have to love the children, give your time, and allow lots of changes to your body. Hence, you have to be ready in spirit, soul and body to be a mother.

For women who choose not to have kids, I really don't think anyone should judge them for that decision. I will also say that these women should try to constantly review that decision, so they don't get to the end of life and then regret it, as life goals change/evolve per season. No one should judge anyone who decides not to have kids or are unable to have kids - those judgments should not exist at all.

What do you say to women with dreams as lofty as yours?

I would say “go for it.” Continue to strive to be the best version of yourself. There is no limit to what any woman can achieve. You do what you need to do to uphold your dignity to get to where you think you deserve to be. Whatever limit you think you've set for yourself as a woman, nothing should stop you from pushing to get there. I wish them all the best!

The very first time I heard about female mutilation, an act that involves the partial or total cutting away of the external female genitalia, I was beyond frightened. Although I was quite familiar with male circumcision and the medical need for it, unfortunately, that wasn't the case for female mutilation. And being a young girl, I remember having difficulties making sense of it all. I couldn't understand why a practice that is often performed without anesthetic under poor medical conditions by quacks with little or no knowledge of human anatomy could be condoned. A practice that causes death or permanent health problems, as well as severe pain to a child, is seen as a rite of passage preparing young girls for womanhood and marriage or a way to tame the sexual desires of a woman. A practice that has been so integrated into our society as a way of culture, ethnic identity, and religious obligation. This incident brought about my first encounter with the word 'feminist'. Presently in Nigeria, feminism is often misinterpreted as a 'medium or way in which women desire to rule over men'. This single-story and stereotype is gradually making being called a feminist almost feel more of an insult to any woman. The word has been ridiculed and compared with mere social media drama. And now, not only men but a vast majority of women are disassociating themselves from it.

SO WHO IS A FEMINIST?

“Feminist” is derived from the Latin word ‘femina' which means woman. This Latin word was later adapted to the struggle and agitation of women all over the world for an egalitarian society. Feminism is a belief in the political, economic, and cultural equality of women and the movement represents the long demand for the upliftment of the suppressed section of women and girls in society.

Over the years, women have had to endure the trauma of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, violence on women, the legal and social biases against women, and the enhancement of women's legal rights and recognition in the society. Gender discrimination, undue disadvantage at birth, discrimination at the workplace, social gatherings, public institution, women being uprooted from their home, non-consensual sexual intimacy, and child bride forced marriages which inevitably denies female children of school age their right to the education for their personal development, and the opportunity to dream and take control of their future. Feminism is a movement for the rights of women. It stands for equal opportunity for both sexes without favouring one over the other, which means that women should not have less political, economic, and civil rights ambitions because they are women. It demands the annihilation of the gender hierarchy, seeks visibility, bridges pay gaps, raising the girl and boy child with equal opportunity, value, integrity, and mutual respect. It's funny how much we have turned a blind eye to the struggles of women all around Nigeria and Africa. The worst forms are battering, trafficking, child marriages, sexual abuse, and murder (as seen in the recent case of Bamise amongst others). We are living in a crazy time, life has become a daily struggle, women are constantly in fear and have lost all sense of security.

The point is, If we think about the circumstances in which the movement is based and we reserve judgment, we will begin to understand that women's desires are good for themselves and society. Five gender equality bills were ruled out during the constitutional review which led to a protest at the National Assembly. Women stormed the house, asking questions, challenging authorities in an attempt to 'break the bias' of all injustice towards women and children. These are intense yet less spoken about issues, which are the very core essence of feminism.