Will you free your pa rents ?

S peaking to a younger colleague of mine recently, I was deeply moved by how strongly he didn’t want his father to be a part of his life at all. This was no ordinary threat, for indeed it was borne out of the frustrations so many young men and women, growing up with absentee fathers, face as they come into their own and become more independent. Parenthood is a challenge even to the best of us, more so for those brought up in an era where as children, we were to be seen and not heard where the elders sat, correction was swiftly applied at the end of a cane and every adult in the neighborhood had freedom of expression upon our derrière. It’s tough to give what you don’t have.

In many such cases, fathers simply paid the bills while the task of bringing up the children was left to our mothers, who became cult like heroes to us, especially in polygamous homes. As our fathers get older and their ability to self engagement diminishes, they awaken to the reality that their children are gone from them emotionally and physically. Instinctively knowing they have messed up parenthood and being unsure how many years they have left on earth, many, like my young colleagues father, begin to make awkward attempts at reconnecting with their children. Yet something seemingly innocuous makes the effort even more daunting...the sheer inability of that generation to say ‘I’m sorry”.

Forgiveness is one of the most powerful weapons in the arsenal of the Almighty and is the fulcrum upon which the balance of man’s relationship with Him rests. The one with the ability to forgive is by far superior to the one forgiven and wields far greater power in the affairs of life than one who never forgives. My young friend had a serious decisions to make, ignore his father’s ‘plea’ for forgiveness and punish him for years of neglect or forgive him his trespasses, even as God daily forgives him his. Such choices are never easy ones to make but once it is clear that unforgiveness inevitably destroys the one in whose power it is to forgive but refuses to, the ability to chose wisely is certain. The choice, as always, is yours to make.

Are you punishing your parent with unforgiveness?

May God give you grace let go and bless you tremendously this day.