THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER… ENVY!

When I was younger, I remember I used to think my mother was too secretive about things. I always wondered why she had such a suspicious mind and I believed the world was not as wicked as she made it out to be. It was always, “Be careful about this, be careful about that.” Sometimes I found the whole cat and mouse game a tad tiresome especially if like me, you are usually free-spirited and open like a book. Now, fast-forward...I totally ‘get it’ and know much better. I have also learnt to keep things closer to my chest. The rose-tinted glasses have long since been left in the back burner as life isn’t just black and white but many shades of grey in between!

Today, I have decided to visit the issue of Envy as it is so prevalent in our society of today. I find that no matter how good you are at what you do, there will always be those who do not have anything positive to say. And this is why some people do not bother to score brownie points in the popularity votes. They have come to realise that they cannot please everybody. This attitude gets easier to adopt as you mature in years. You soon realise that it is not because you have offended anybody in any shape or form but simply because they believe you are not deserving of praise. I have seen very successful entrepreneurs belittled to the extent that you cannot but wonder if they are talking about the same person you know. And funny enough, the people that envy them are those in their own circle, the friends and acquaintances left behind. Jealousy eats at them as their own stagnation of growth gnaws at them. And even sometimes, it is not because the envied person is more successful or even as successful; it is simply just because they feel the sky is not big enough for everybody. You see, half the problem with Envy is when we do not recognise it until it is too late. You expose your vulnerability to trusted ones thinking they share your plight. But you soon realise they share your plight quite alright…with several other people. Never underestimate the power of Envy. It creates a monster that feeds off your downfalls, inadequacies and insecurities. It ignites and elicits opinions that are neither sought nor appreciated but mentioned all the same because to them, the ultimate pleasure is finding a flaw in what they perceive as an otherwise perfect picture. In most environments, the effects of Envy are more serious amongst peers. So it is disguised it in many ways.

So are we then surprised that some very successful people prefer to work under the radar? Are we surprised they go out of their way to keep their milestones silent? They do not court publicity. They do not crave for it. They see it as unnecessary attention and would much rather play the role of silent generators. Even when they make philanthropic gestures, they prefer to remain anonymous. I have read that “Envy is a weed that should not be watered.” And it is for this sole reason such people wisely choose to play down their accomplishments or God-given talents. Even when praised for their success, they are quick to say “We give God the glory”. For them, humility is wisely embraced, a trait I greatly admire I must say. And I can bet it is because most of them have been bitten, backstabbed and betrayed enough times which better explains their need to remain silent on their various endeavours. They have come to understand that as they soar in success, those they leave behind will most times, feel envious of their accomplishments. They do not also naively always accept the façade portrayed to them in public, they read between the lines of criticisms and little sarcastic remarks. Don’t laugh. It’s not about paranoia. It is a simple statement of fact. When you get close to such success stories, many of which I have met and conversed with, they insinuate their displeasure from trusted associates and friends but choose to rise above it and focus on doing what they do best…be successful.

A conscious way to avoid situations that create Envy is not to put yourself in a position that can solicit it because some people actually bring it upon themselves. They boast about every single thing they do or have achieved. The moment something good happens to them, whether by luck or design, they spill it out whether the information is solicited or not. They feel the insa-tiable need to wear their accomplishments on their shoulders like a badge. That is not to say they can be faulted for that, but it just makes them more susceptible to Envy than the average person. There are also those who stir up Envy but in more subtle ways, and are partly to blame for their troubles. These ones secretly derive pleasure from making other people feel inferior. With such people, they do not realise that it is a common and naïve mistake to think they are charming people with their natural talents when infact, they are doing the exact opposite. Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to want to publicly acknowledge it at every given opportunity. Envy creates silent enemies. You must try to recognize some of Envy’s disguises. And no matter how painful a remark hurts, you must learn not to retaliate and fall into the trap of mudslinging, or taking their criticisms to heart. Win your revenge with golden silence. Sometimes, the people who can hurt or betray you the most are those close to you. Psalm 55: 12-14 says “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.”

Now and again, take a back seat, drink in everything happening around you and strategize. Your ultimate aim is to be the best that you can be regardless of all the obstacles, barriers or opinions made about you. Bottom line, your life is yours to live not any other person’s. And what God has blessed you with; no one can take away from you as long as you continuously seek His face and genuinely show gratitude for what He has done for you. Do not be too quick to lay all your cards on the table for all to see. Let your success and not you, speak for itself. Truth is, whether we like it or not, negative news is way more entertaining than the successful climb in anyone’s career or life. But the consoling fact is that you serve a God bigger and greater than man. He has your back so let them talk. Negative situations should not stop you from pursuing your dreams or attaining your goals. What you do not know now, or are yet to learn, experience will teach you along the way. And sad as it is to say, learn to trust people less and most of all, not to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Success is a hard climb, a tough journey full of obstacles, betrayals, backstabbing, setbacks, tears and pain, but the more you grow, the stronger you become. And the stronger you become, the more you come to accept that Envy is just another thing that tags along the back of success. It is inevitable but what matters is that you excel… and continue to soar to greater heights.

Success is a hard climb, a tough journey full of obstacles, betrayals, backstabbing, setbacks, tears and pain, but the more you grow, the stronger you become. And the stronger you become, the more you come to accept that Envy is just another thing that tags along the back of success. It is inevitable but what matters is that you excel…and continue to soar to greater heights.