5 MINUTES WITH JULIE OKAH-DONLI

First a mother, then a lawyer, philanthropist, and author of a book titled ‘Parenting In The 21st Century’. Julie Okah-Donli has published a ground-breaking narrative taking the art of parenting to a new level based on her years as a parent. It is a first-of-its-kind practical guide to parenting in the 21st century, it shines light on important issues and experiences surrounding different phases. Style correspondent Mojisola Allen met with the author as she shares her passion and vision in the art of parenting.

What does being a woman of a certain age and being a successful woman mean to you especially in a male dominated society like the one we live in?

In a society such as ours that is mostly dominated by men, being a woman, regardless of age has never been a challenge to me as women have found themselves in competitive positions and have been able to create their own niche of impact through sheer determination and pure hard and smart work.

you recently debut your book that focuses on the 21st century art of Parenting. Why Parenting? how will you compare the art of raising children now to how we were raised way back then, has anything changed?

The fictional book ‘Parenting In The 21st Century’ was a pre-conceived quest built on the premise of my observation that took into cognizance the countless experience of people around me and the world in diaspora. Going way back to the days when a child’s physical, psychological and moral upbringing was very paramount to parent’s, the years when parents where strongly knitted to the lives of their offspring with so much dedication and commitment. Things are a lot different, the 21st century parents have become too preoccupied for their children and have left them in the free hands of friendly predators in the guise of domestic staff, thereby making them vulnerable to all sorts of abuse and defilement.

What were the three unforgettable lessons your parents instilled in you as a child.

my parents instilled into me the essence of neatness and organization at all times, respect to my elders and to everyone I come in contact with, to be very determined and focused through hard work in everything I do .

speaking about the “girl child”, it has fast become an important concept in issues pertaining to the female gender, who is the girl child and why is so much emphasis being laid on her now?

The girl child is a girl between ages 0 to 17years and that is the most vulnerable time of her life if exposed to the wrong crowd and situation. Often times, if not well guarded and guided, she is prone to abuse and must be educated and protected jealously to ensure her safety as a growing child. This is the time she begins to know about sex education and taught to report any suspicious actions around her before things get out of hand.

of course, this comes with any gender bias, but is it a societal norm or parents generally seem to focus more on how the girl child is raised, do you think there any reason for that?

This book is centered around children as a whole but has its focal point on the girl child because of the awareness to their vulnerability. Statistics have shown that reported cases of abuse in Nigeria is much higher on the girl child compared to a male child. It appears, however, that things are beginning to change now.

What are the rights of children especially the girl child, has the government made ample provision to enact and protect these rights? is there a code of conducts that punishes offenders when they breach the rights of children?

The rights of a child includes the right to dignity, right to private and family life, right to freedom of movement, right to freedom from discrimination, right to leisure, recreation and cultural activities, right to free, compulsory and universal primary education, etc., but not enough has been done to protect and project these rights. S 31 (2) state that a person who commits rape is liable to life imprisonment on conviction but I do not think anyone has been slammed with such a sentence as the crime is usually not considered as an offensive breach against the right of the Child to living.

Will you consider it healthy for a child to be overexposed to social media knowing the sometimes negativity and possibilities that come with it? What role does social media play in parenting and protecting the children of this overtly exposed generation.

Social media through the internet hasn’t only made the world a smaller community to live in but has also raised the awareness of children’s curiosity to everything and anything. A core reason why parents must teach their off springs what they need to know and shouldn’t know before they are overexposed and misguided. I am of the valid opinion that children should not be over exposed to the internet at a very early age without parental guidance.

apart from being a successful career driven woman, you are also the founder of the Julie Donli Foundation(improving the lives of people living with kidney ailments for better), are there other humanity projects you are working as we speak?

I am focused on my kidney foundation for now but I hope to extend my Charity work to humanity ensuring the Protection of Children’s right.

What words of encouragement will you give parents going through a rough phase in the art of parenting?

I encourage parents to keep an eagle eye on their children at all times. Commit to them, invest in hidden cameras to monitor their activities even at work, instill good moral manners in them, make communication easy for them, give them early sex education and carry out proper investigative KYS i.e know your staff, before employing them.

I encourage parents to keep an eagle eye on their children at all times. Commit to them, invest in hidden cameras to monitor their activities even at work, instill good moral manners in them, make communication easy for them, give them early sex education and carry out proper investigative KYS i.e know your staff, before employing them.

three fashionable items you can’t do without everyday

One fashionable item I can’t do without would definitely have to be my wristwatch. It keeps me in check with the essence of time and making the best of what counts, on what’s important.

your current state of mind?

my current state of mind? Calm with a high intensity of determination.