WHAT I HAVE LEARNT AT 50
There is no better time than when you celebrate half a century to reflect and think back on your life. I don’t think anyone can escape that feeling when you mark a major milestone in your life. I hope that these thoughts will help you get a proper perspective about life as much as it helped me. Some of these I worked out for myself but others were triggered by a book or article I read. be grateful
For life, love, good health, pain, a good job, a career, family, fans, supporters (and haters too). Learn to thank God for everything you have and experience. In being grateful, you tend to focus on the things you have and not those you don’t have yet and the more thankful and grateful you are, the more you have things to be thankful for. learn to express yourself
Ask. Say it. Tell it. I once had a boss who always told me ‘uju, marshal your thoughts and then speak out.’ don’t tweet, bb or Facebook your thoughts or feelings only. Learn to say it .If you love someone, let them know, often. Life is really short and we don’t hold our tomorrows in our hands. If someone has hurt you, let them know and hear them out. If you hate or like something, show it with applause, whistles, a frowning face or walk away. If you have an idea during a meeting, share it no matter how mundane it sounds. You are better than the person who shared nothing. I have learned that hiding your ideas, feelings and thoughts does no one, especially you, any good. Speak up! love, live, laugh
My older brother succumbed to death in 2016 and it was painful. I have therefore decided I would love my life, in whatever stage it is and make a daily choice to be happy no matter what. I will enjoy the sunrise, the sound of a bird on my roof, the laughter of a baby, the loud noise from the Tv, the pain and discomfort of new shoes, the thrill of a dress that fits, the confidence of new colourful underwear, the stability of friends from nursery school, the love of a spouse and the absolute joy of being a mother...I will live life as best as I can. I will create loving memories so that the pain of losing loved ones will be easier to bear. Make time for your friends, feed your support network
I love food and going out to eat. I will try any new restaurant any day anytime….. and I take my friends with me. Friends can help you overcome pain, rejection or health issues just by being there. Plan outings at least once a month or quarter. don’t live without a network of people you can be yourself with or people who will be there for you at the drop of a hat. we need reliable dependable people who can help with a tough decision at work or at home, help to visit the children in school or settle that quarrel with a troublesome uncle! remember your past but don’t let it cloud your future…
don’t live in the past, full of regrets but rather use the memories of your yesterdays to bolster your today. It’s okay to think about a past love, a failed relationship, a great sales success, a fantastic speech you gave, an exam you failed. The thing is to use the memory or the lesson learned to better your tomorrow not wallow in sorrow and regret. Make mistakes
You are not perfect. The minute you begin to think you are the smartest and the only perfect one in your family, office, community, the chances are you are on the way down. Learn to accept your weaknesses and shortcomings and learn from your mistakes. There is absolutely no living being who has not made a mistake. be bold and courageous
with this year’s International women’s day theme of #BeBoldforChange, we must be ready to break out of any limitations and setbacks and launch out. Believe me everybody is nervous and timid when on the brink of something new. The trick is to just do it- be you afraid, broke, ashamed, embarrassed, and unprepared. just take that step and start something! learn to write down your thoughts and plans
Not because you are going to write a book but because you will forget if you don’t write it down! You should learn to journal as it may be the basis for a book later in life. Also, when you read over thoughts you wrote three years ago, don’t you think, wow! This is brilliant? Or you are amazed at how many good things have happened to you! I do. So write as many of your
Can heartbreak be more painful than labour pains? if you survived labour, you will make it past the betrayal and pain. you will get over it, no matter how bad the situation is. as the bible says, “it came to pass,” and on the other side, you find yourself stronger and wiser.
bright ideas, experiences, and losses etc. as you can. Wear bright colours
This was a hard lesson for me as my favorite color is black!! But I have learned to let in a little yellow, turquoise, green and even red and orange. It’s like letting in sunshine to your outer wear and does wonders for your mood and self-confidence. acquire an unrelated new skill
Be it financial modelling or making pancakes. Learn something new that gives you a confidence boost. join a professional community, volunteer to train domestic workers, teach a class at your child’s school, visit an old people’s home or a beggar community, plant a garden, learn to swim. do something new and different and get out of your comfort zone know your community
do you know your neighbours? Gone are the days where children who lived on the same street came out to play soccer or ride their bikes on weekends. we are now all so insular that we do not care to know who lives on the other side of our fences. do you know the names of your driver’s children or their ages? do you know anything about your security man’s family? Beyond showing you care and can be compassionate to non- blood relatives, it’s also a security requirement. heartbreak, pain, disappointment and rejection really cannot kill you
It just looks like it can but we are made stronger than that. Ask any woman who has had a baby! Can heartbreak be more painful than labour pains? If you survived labour, you will make it past the betrayal and pain. You will get over it, no matter how bad the situation is. As the bible says, “it came to pass” and on the other side, you find yourself stronger and wiser. give 100%, your best effort, to all you do That way you get the best out of life. Finally, be generous.
God blessed you so you could be a blessing to others. That fantastic idea is not for the benefit of just you and your family. All that money is not for you buy more houses, clothes, cars or marry new wives or husbands! If you and I gave 1% only of our total earnings to our needy communities, we would have a much better world. what about you? what did you learn in the last one year? Ononuju Irukwu, is an investment Management professional and personal Wealth consultant with over 2 decades of experience in Wealth Management. she is a writer and speaker focusing on issues affecting women and youths in making sound investment decisions. she can be reached via email: ononujui@yahoo.com, twitter- @ononujui and instagrampersonalwealthwithononujui.