COLOURS OF LIFE
Once upon a time, three women set out on a journey. They bore the same surname, they were widows and they were all sad. One of them was old and two were young. One was Jewish while the others were gentiles; the older woman was Naomi, wife of Elimelech and mother of Mahlon and Chilion. The younger women were Orpah and Ruth, wives of Mahlon and Chilion, respectively.
Naomi, Elimelech and the boys had moved to Moab because there was famine in Bethlehem. Then Elimelech died and later his sons married Moabite women. Some ten years down the line, Mahlom and Chilion also died. Naomi became childless while Orpah and Ruth joined her in the company of widows. The trio were united in grief.
As Naomi sorrowed, news came to her that the famine in Bethlehem was over, God had visited his people and blessed them. Naomi decided to return home and her daughtersin-law choose to accompany her. So, the three set off towards Judah. But Naomi turned around, blessed Orpah and Ruth, and encouraged them to return and make a new life for themselves. It was an emotionladen farewell that gives us an insight into the type of women Orpah and Ruth were. They must have been kind to their husbands and their mother-in-law. That explains why Naomi could pray that they would re-marry, and be happy in their new homes. We can also assume they were caring and devoted, the reason they insisted on following her.
But Naomi took the young women through an objective assessment of their situation. She made them see that there was no apparent future for them with her. She was too old to have children and even if she had children immediately, they could not replace the husbands the Orpah and Ruth had lost. This was the turning point in the lives of the three women. “Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her”. (Ruth 1:14). At the valley of decision; the young widows reviewed their lives. While Ruth decided to remain with her mother-in-law, Orpah chose to say goodbye.
Whereas Ruth has been applauded by history for her choice, Orpah has been castigated. If Orpah went back to the gods of Moab as her mother-in-law suspected, then that would be sad. We have no proof that she did. But we can sure learn something from Orpah’s decision. Infact, we can learn a great deal. In addition to the qualities Orpah had going for her, she had the grace to draw the curtain on a phase of her life and move on; she had the gift of goodbye.
I particularly appreciate Orpah’s choice because the gift of goodbye does not come easily to me. I tend to hold on to past friendships, past memories, souvenirs of the past. This could seem like a harmless trait until it hinders progress. When you get to the point where your past stands in the way of your future, you need the gift of goodbye.
Here, we have two women with similar challenges but different responses. While Ruth’s way of dealing with her grief was to throw herself into the culture of her late husband, Orpah’s was to literarily walk away from her past. So, at this cross road of life, Ruth went with her mother-in-law, but Orpah had the courage and strength of character to make a clean break. She did not succumb to the pressure to please people. She did not mind the controversy that would surround the news of her departure. She did not care that history may judge her unkindly for taking the road less travelled. She went ahead to be true to herself. She bade Naomi and Ruth goodbye, and closed the door on her yesterday.
Every now and then life brings us to a junction like it did Ruth and Orpah. Sometimes the door to our future will only open when we shut the door to our past. Some of us need to find closure on existing relationships so we can enjoy new ones. There are people amongst us who have to mentally disengage from past projects to see new possibilities. Some parents and children need to say goodbye to each other to enable the latter enjoy their matrimonial homes. A number of us have to let go of loved ones we have lost to death and allow them ‘Rest In Peace’. Those holding people in un-forgiveness need to set them free. There are yet those of us who need to bid sin farewell and embrace God’s forgiveness and new life in Christ.
If you have the grace to say goodbye easily then go ahead and exercise it. If, on the other hand, like me, it is an uphill task, ask God’s help. Whatever it takes, as we begin 2019, let go of yesterday and embrace tomorrow. Koko Kalango is author, Colours of Life devotional. Contact@coloursoflife.org