ADVOCATES & SURVIVORS
LIFE ON THE PINK LANE
October marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a time when men and women around the world unite in a show of support against the disease. The annual campaign has helped put breast cancer under the spotlight, and it has worked hard to teach women the importance of early detection and breast awareness, the best weapons in the fight against the disease. Both approaches have helped save the lives of hundreds of thousands of people who have successfully battled breast cancer because it was caught in its early stages. Once upon a time, Cancer was viewed as a death sentence. Most victims throw in the towel even before the fight for survival begins. The reason for these awareness is not just to survive but to also learn how to survive. Spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically... sometimes even financially, avenues are being created to find solace and build faith. Fear is one of the biggest battles to overcome and when replaced with hope, builds the determination to survive.
So, as all things turn Pink this month, we show our support by speaking to a group of survivors and advocates who have all come under the umbrella of the Life on the Pink Lane Campaign to not only enforce breast awareness but also provide succour for those living with the disease.
When did you discover your lump?
I discovered my lump in January 2015 through self-examination. I was 27 years old at the time. At first, I thought it was totally harmless, until I went for a breast scan, FNAC (Fine Needle Aspiration Cytology) and biopsy which detected malignant cells in the lump. At that point it was very hard for me to believe until I was referred to the oncology department. For me, it was doubt and disbelief all the way until I started my chemotherapy which was my first treatment.
How were you able to handle the journey mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
God. Daily I read and meditated on the word of God regularly. I also prayed a lot and focused on my work, trying as much as I could to give less attention to the disease. That was my mental escape.
Did you have any support and what role did this play during your treatment?
Yes, I had a lot of support from my husband, parents, in-laws, siblings, church members, doctors and colleagues. Everyone played a very huge role that made the treatment a lot easier for me. Some helped through their prayers, some financially and some emotionally. I had a mild treatment though because it was detected early. It lasted within the space of one year.
What key things did you learn during this tough journey?
I learnt a lot about life, God and humanity. I learnt to depend on God in every situation. Casting all my burdens on Him. I also learnt the place of God in my life and what really matters most to me. Right now, my mind is fixed on achieving the purpose of my existence. Serving God and helping others survive. I also look forward to fulfilling my life goals.
Do you have any fears or thoughts of it returning?
Not at all, the bible says affliction shall not rise again.
Has this experience changed your outlook to life?
Yes, it has. My priorities have changed. Let’s just say I am more concerned now about the unseen things than the seen things.
What more steps do you feel should be taken to create even more awareness?
It will be great if women talk about it to enlighten themselves and not just express fear and withdraw at the mere mention of breast cancer. Also, young women in their 20’s, should be breast cancer aware too. I didn’t think it was possible to get it at my age. There’s this false notion out there that it only affects women in their 40’s and above. That needs to be corrected.
Many women still see this ailment as a death sentence. What do you have to say to them?
Early detection saves life. It saved mine. Secondly, with God on your side you can win ANY battle.
It has been said that your state of mind plays a huge role in terms of survival. What is your take on this?
Yes, it does.
Many people don’t survive cancer because of fear, some eventually die from fear. You have to have faith to survive. And faith cometh by hearing, hearing the word of God.
One needs the word of God to be in the right state of mind and have peace and joy while facing this challenge.
Many people don’t survive cancer because of fear, some eventually die from fear. You have to have faith to survive. And faith cometh by hearing, hearing the word of God.
When did you discover you had Breast Cancer?
I discovered I had a lump during my breast self-examination. I had not done one in a very long time and after I heard an awareness message on radio, I decided to check my breast and that was how I discovered a lump and my numerous hospital visits began. I was 23 at the time.
When I got my diagnosis, I was in a state of confusion, I wondered what will become of me. I did not know anything about breast cancer, so it was a rollercoaster of emotions. I was so afraid that I kept on wishing it was all a dream that will go away once I woke up.
How were you able to handle the journey that followed your diagnosis?
I don’t think anyone is ever fully prepared to handle a journey such as cancer, but I think having that conversation with myself early and making peace with the situation. I told myself I was going to live and in other to do so, I was going to fight as hard as I could. I am here today because I had and still have the most wonderful family, friends and my employer at that time. The encouragement, their thoughtfulness and showing up when I was at my lowest is something I could never repay in this life. I had a team that chose to stand by my side and so it did not feel like it was just me against the world. Having that sort of backing made me feel valued and I desperately wanted to stay alive for them too for all the sacrifices they were making.
How long was your treatment? And what lessons did you take away from the journey?
I had all my treatment here in Nigeria and it lasted for a year and two months. It would have been shorter but at that time there was only one radiation machine working in the country so there was a long queue.
The breast cancer journey is a school on its own with lots of learning curves. 3 major lesson I took from my experience are:
1. You are the number one advocate for your health. Initially when I presented my lump at the hospital, I was told I was too young to have breast cancer but I insisted on going through proper testing, so I learnt to be vocal about my concerns and not rest until I get the proper attention.
2. People will always have different opinions and proffer various solutions. You have to sift through them and do what is in the best interest of your wellbeing. If your pastor, Iman or herbalist is not an Oncologist then they have no business treating you.
3. Lastly, no one will know what you are going through if you do not open about your issues and you don’t know who might be of the greatest help. I was referred to the doctor that managed my treatment by my boss at that time and he paid for more than half of my treatment. I know people are always worried about stigma and how they will be treated differently.
For me, the focus was to be alive first and I needed and accepted all the help I could get.
What’s your state of mind now that you have survived cancer?
It’s been five years post treatment and I couldn’t be more thankful.
My life purpose has taken a new direction and I count every opportunity to share my experience as a blessing. I strongly believe God kept me for this purpose. I’m more passionate now and I choose to live my best life every day.
When I face any setback or difficulty now, my default pet talk to myself is “lf I survived breast cancer then this will be easy”.
Do you have any fears or thoughts of it returning?
For the first two years after treatment, I lived in fear of breast cancer coming back and I would check my breast often just to catch any signs and my doctor at a point worried for me but not anymore. I have made peace with that phase of my life. Life happens to everyone. I’m more concerned about living a purposeful life now and using my experience to bring awareness to this horrible disease. I still check my breast because it’s the right thing to do.
Has this experience changed your outlook towards life?
I would say my breast cancer experience has refined me. I appreciate relationships a lot more now and I’m invested in my friends and loved ones. I see life as a privilege and not a right and most importantly, I have quit complaining about Nigeria and simply identified an area where I can make an impact and that’s what I channel my energy into.
What more steps do you think should be taken to create even more awareness of Breast Cancer?
There is a lot of ongoing work on awareness right now in Nigeria unlike before but one aspect which really needs to be highlighted is survivorship. The public perception is that breast cancer in Nigeria is a death sentence and one of the reasons is that they only see the critical cases in the media but not much of the survivors. We keep saying that there is life after breast cancer, but they don’t get to see it.
I believe survivors need to lend their voices to the awareness drive. I know ladies who have gone ahead to marry, have kids, get their dream jobs and live their best lives but do not want to be associated with the word “cancer”. We are not our scar, but your story might be the only source of hope for the next woman.
Breast cancer when presented early, is treatable and the survival rate is very high. On the other hand, breast cancer when presented late can only receive palliative care and the survival rate is low.
Early diagnosis amongst other factors makes all the difference and like I always say, if I survived, that means you can survive but please make a habit of subjecting your self to routine screenings and also do your own breast self-examination monthly. If you ever have any breast concern, see a medical doctor in a standard hospital and not your Pastor, Imam, any traditional herbalist and neither should you waste money on any alternative drugs.
How well do you feel Nigeria is dealing with creating awareness of the fight against breast cancer?
I would say the awareness drive is increasing in Nigeria at least I can see the difference between now and six years ago when I was diagnosed.
Beyond awareness, there needs to be access to free screening programs and this cannot be left to only Non-Governmental organizations. If we really want to see increase in early detection in Nigeria which is actually the goal of awareness, then let there be free screenings in every primary health centers around the country so that even the local women in the most remote part of the country can have access to it. I can bet you that in 2019, there are still women who have not heard of breast cancer and we need to reach everyone.
What parting words do you have for those dealing with this ailment at the moment?
Dealing with breast cancer will drain you in every way possible and sometimes the people around you may not understand how you feel but you have to be strong for yourself. There are days you will feel like crying, it’s actually good to let out emotions so please cry it all out but don’t forget to laugh too, it will do your soul a lot of good. Breath in positivity, never lose hope and most importantly, do the things that make you happy. You need rest too so allow the people around you take care of you too…you are deserving of all the love, care and attention.
I believe survivors need to lend their voices to the awareness drive. I know ladies who have gone ahead to marry, have kids, get their dream jobs and live their best lives but do not want to be associated with the word “cancer”. We are not our scar, but your story might be the only source of hope for the next woman.
When did you discover your lump?
I discovered in June 2009. I was 49yrs and
8 months. When I got the news, I was naturally devasted and my heart literally dropped to my feet. But with the support of my family and self determination to live, l was able to cope emotionally. Physically, l was in denial and somehow, l think that helped. Spiritually, l only really prayed the first day the news broke. I begged God to spare my life for the sake of my daughter who was just five at the time, then l held on to the meditative mode of prayer with my rosary beads which I always had with me.
Did you have any support and what role did this play during your treatment?
Oh yes! My sister was with me throughout when l had to go outside the country for treatment. This helped a lot because l was able to concentrate on getting better while she took charge of the associated care and logistics that comes with seeking treatment abroad. My initial treatment lasted for nine months after which l had to return after three months for checkup. Thereafter, every six months for three years, then yearly and every two years. Hopefully to end in 2020 God willing.
What key things did you learn during this tough journey?
Faith, prayer, resilience, strong will, love of family and from family can see you through any challenge. Most important of all, I’d tell you that God’s grace is real. I am a very happy, contented and humbled person. I am also very grateful to God having survived this ordeal. Some who caught it did not make it but here l am, alive and well and just trudging on.
Do you have any fears or thoughts of it returning?
Yes, l do. Because it metastasized to my chest in 2010 and l had to go through some radiotherapy treatment again, but it has been in remission since then and hopefully forever. Also, you hear of how the big ‘C’ returns with a vengeance and just literally takes over all the major organs and then death. So, l worry sometimes.
Who was most encouraging to you while you went through this process?
Dear women, breast cancer is not a death sentence. You must fight it and take the decision to conquer. Healing starts with you. So never say never. You must reach out because of the financial implications and be ready to fight the big ‘C’ with optimism and self-confidence.
My husband, my daughter and my siblings.
Has this changed your outlook to life?
Yes, it has changed my outlook to life, because it was a near death situation, and you realize that all life is vanity. All you need is peace and contentment.
What more steps do you feel should be taken to create even more awareness of Breast cancer?
Breast cancer awareness should be like a popular song all over the country. We need to create jingles, awareness centers and also find a way to take it to the nooks and crannies of our villages in the language they understand.
Many women still see this ailment as a death sentence because of the low rate of survival. What do you have to tell them to assure them that it is a battle that can be fought and won?
Dear women, breast cancer is not a death sentence. You must fight it and take the decision to conquer. Healing starts with you. So never say never.
You must reach out because of the financial implications and be ready to fight the big ‘C’ with optimism and self-confidence.
It has been said that your state of mind plays a large role in terms of survival. What is your take on this?
It is very true. Some people give up as soon as they get their diagnosis. But l will like to encourage them to put on the cloak of ‘not again Big ‘C’’ and give themselves all it takes to conquer. Early detection and treatment is the bright light at the end of this tunnel.
People rarely focus on the loved ones of people going through cancer. Do you feel there should also be platforms or channels that will assist them in better ways to deal with the emotional grief they also go through?
I strongly believe so. This is already going on in advanced countries, so Nigeria should stand up to the challenge and take up this responsibility. If loved ones have the opportunity to share their experiences, they will be able to cope better. It is really tough on them seeing their cherished ones suffer while they look on helplessly.
How well do you feel Nigeria is dealing with creation of awareness?
Some efforts are being made particularly with the NGO’s and private sector but with greater awareness I believe we can stop cancer in all forms in its tracks, because as you know early detection and care is key.
When you were low, what did you find most uplifting? How were you able to deal with the mental/emotional and physical pain of treatment?
Definitely, my low days were bad. I hardly spoke to anyone. I refused eating or drinking. You are not happy with your physical outlook and so your emotions are down and out. My sister, Nyoreme was my Florence Nightingale at times like this. Spiritually I could not really pray but l always said in my mind ‘Lord Jesus have mercy on me’.
What parting words will you like to say to those going through what you went through?
To all my Pink Ladies, l must tell you, going through breast cancer is not an easy road, physically, emotionally and financially. Never give up. Be optimistic. Tell the big ‘C’ you will be victorious. God help us all.