• FAT SHAMING • TONYE COLE: WHOSE HEART ARE YOU BREAKING?

BATTLE OF THE BULGE - PART 9

Recap and vital statistics:

I am 5 feet and 10 inches tall and 60 years old.

I was super-slim till about 10 years ago, then gradually got fat.

I started this weight loss programme on March 16th when I weighed a whopping 120kg and measured 49-47-51 (chest-waisthips) inches.

Last week, I weighed 111kg, measured 47-44.5-48.5, listed various diet plans that had been recommended by Healthline, an American website, and told you Style Magazine readers that I would quickly scrutinize the numerous options and let you know which food/drink deprivation system I decided would suit me best.

Sadly, I am still dithering about which diet to choose because, truth be told, I simply couldn’t motivate myself to give a damn about dieting at a time when I was going through excruciatingly painful personal problems (fading mum); and when I am in Depressed, Self-Pitying Mode, excessive eating and drinking is how I cheer myself up.

I got away with using food/alcohol as emotional crutches when I was younger and the lucky possessor of a turbo-charged metabolism that ensured I stayed slim, despite eating like a pig and drinking like a fish.

But I’ve reached an age at which over-indulgence has dire consequences. And I must confess that I GAINED weight last week.

This is the second week in a row in which failure and shame and furious self-flagellations have been my constant companions.

Week before last, I didn’t lose an ounce because I didn’t minimize food or exercise much. But I did, week before last, at least minimize my booze/sugar intake and stick to low-calorie artificial sweeteners in the many cups of coffee/tea that I get through in an average day.

Last week, however, I got tired of pretending that artificial sweeteners are OK. I’ve tried 3 different brands. And all are pretty horrid, if you ask me. Meanwhile, attempts at cheerfully tolerating the bitterness of neat, unadulterated coffee/tea proved abortive.

Long story short, I wound up wantonly re-engaging with vast amounts of sugar - in hot beverages and beyond - for the first time since March. And the minute I started to slide down that slippery slope, I let myself go completely and began to also re-engage with every single delicious fattening food item I could lay my hands on.

I scoffed my way through several packets of ginger nut biscuits. I quaffed several glasses of gloriously sweet sprite-laced brandy. I downed several portions of fried chicken, fried fish and ugba – the palm-oildrenched Igbo delicacy that is also known as African Salad.

I was like a woman possessed – like a desperate easy lay at a gastronomic orgy. And I’ve paid dearly for this bout of rampant indiscipline. I gained 3kg last week and have crept back up to 114kg.

Trust me, it wasn’t worth it because I hate myself with a burning passion. And the way I feel now is evidence that deferring gratification makes sense.

The moral of the story is this: Do not elevate superficial short-term pleasures above the REAL satisfaction you will gain if you suppress your baser instincts and your weaknesses and achieve something you can be proud of, something substantial that will last a lot longer than the transient thrill of yet another slice of cake or whatever.

Fortunately, other members of the “Weight Watchers Unite!”WhatsApp group I created with girlfriends did much better than I did last week. Monique Ogon has shed 6kg this month (2kg per week 3 weeks in a row) by strictly adhering to the following diet plan:

Breakfast: a bowl of oats with pure honey And a cup of green tea

Between breakfast and dinner, she eats fruit apples, mangoes, etc.

Dinner Options:

1. Fish pepper soup with vegetables that are filling but not starchy…ie, no corn, but plenty carrots, lettuce, broccoli , etc.

2. Boil lots of carrots or mixed vegetables and eat with efo cooked as soup with chicken, fish or lean beef.

3. A large bowl of farmers salad made up of lettuce, tomatoes, boiled eggs and grilled mackerel (icefish, very rich in omega 3,6,9). With a dressing comprising extra virgin olive oil or sesame oil or vinaigrette

Plus lots of green tea all day round as if you were drinking water

No rice, yam, eba or porridge, alcohol.

Snack on fruit, garden eggs, etc. Walk every day for an hour.

An interesting debate arose on the Weight

Watchers Unite! platform last week. It’s about the cultural differences between foreign and Nigerian women when it comes to body image.

What a typical Nigerian female regards as a reasonable weight will not satisfy a typical woman in the Western World.

Here, weight loss targets are modest. There, weight loss targets are stringent. As a result, white women tend to be slimmer and are much more likely to maintain their youthful figures as they age.

Here, fat is no big deal and many Nigerians think that fat females are preferable to slim ones. There, fat is unacceptable.

Because I grew up abroad, I am uncompromisingly wedded to the idea that women look best when they are slim; and my war against my personal indiscipline will continue. Watch this space!