FAT SHAMING
BATTLE OF THE BULGE - PART 14 (WEEK 16)
Recap and vital statistics:
I am 5 feet and 10 inches tall and 60 years old.
I was super-slim till about 10 years ago, then gradually got fat.
I started this weight loss programme on March 16th when I weighed a whopping 120kg and measured 49-47-51 (chest-waist-hips) inches.
My weight was stubbornly stuck at the 111kg mark on my bathroom scales throughout June because though I wasn’t overeating, I simply wasn’t motivated enough or trying hard enough to get good results.
I wasn’t going over the top and stuffing my face with fattening delights like cream cakes or akara, but I was still getting through too many calories and not doing much fat-burning exercise.
Fortunately, I’ve finally left that demoralising plateau behind in recent days and now weigh 109.5kg. And, Dear Readers, I’m pretty sure that my battle of the bulge will be less tortuous henceforth. So what happened? How did I drag myself out of the Zero Progress zone after reluctantly lingering in it for a month? And why am I now so sure that there will be no more Zero Progress phases in future?
It’s a long story.
Let me start by saying that I have an Addictive Personality that is drawn to excess. If I take a shine to or feel a need for something, I will indulge in it obsessively while struggling to break the spell.
When I was a teenager in the UK in the 1970s, smoking was regarded as tres chic; and I took to cigarettes like a duck to water.
I adored the acrid fumes, the nicotine hits and having something to hold or breezily wave around when I was working, socialising, watching TV, etc. And while my friends were getting through one pack of cigarettes a day, I was getting through 3 or 4 packs a day.
It rapidly became obvious that cigarettes were ruining my health. And I started to hate myself for being wedded to a habit that was stupid and dangerous. And I was always trying to psyche myself up to ditch cigarettes before they killed me. But I continued to smoke like a chimney for 4 decades and only gave them up 3 years ago.
I am telling you this tale because of HOW I gave cigarettes up. I literally just woke up one day, aged 56, and it was as if a switch was flipped in my head. And I suddenly lost the desire to smoke.
Just like that. No ceremony. No drama. Just a very firm goodbye to years of using cigarettes as a crutch. And I haven’t looked back.
I went through a similar epiphany last week around gluttony. I’ve always
LOVED food and sugar so passionately that controlling my consumption of favourite savoury and sweet dishes was like torture.
But, all of a sudden, last Thursday, a switch flipped in my head with a forcefulness that surprised me; and I realised that I had TOTALLY lost the desire to eat nonstop…and would no longer find it difficult to establish sensible eating patterns and fully commit to slimming.
My doctor says that I need to lose at least 35kg, if I want to avoid heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, stroke, etc, so I’m aiming for 85kg.
I was initially intimidated by this substantial challenge and kept messing around and pausing fearfully and stepping back wearily... instead of steadily and confidently forging ahead.
I’d lose 2 or 3kg one week, then regain all or part of the lost weight the following week. Or just feebly mark time on the same spot.
I basically trapped myself into a demoralising win-fail-win-fail yo-yo cycle that I couldn’t seem to escape from. But something mysterious happened to me psychologically last week. And, suddenly, I am mentally ready to do this dieting thing properly.
And exercise HAS to be part of the deal. Calorie restriction is more effective than exercise within a kilo-shedding context. But exercise helps and it’s important to tone those muscles as you shed weight.
I was a champion athlete at school, but only because my sports teacher nagged me to get off my backside and fulfil my potential.
Despite having won trophies, I enthusiastically quit sport the minute I left school. And I’ve joined a few gyms over the years, in half-hearted bids to be healthier, but have not spent much time in them.
I am, truth be told, a VERY lazy couch potato by nature; and I sigh whenever I try to come to terms with the fact that consistently embracing sweat is the next psychological hurdle I need to leap over.
Weight loss is more of a mental challenge than anything else. Once you have made your mind up to be serious, the physical challenges (occasional hunger pangs, cravings for favourite foods, ongoing aches and pains from exercise) don’t bother you much.