GOV IFEANYI OKOWA
(HUSBAND)
Your wife has just turned 60 how long have you been married and how did you meet?
We have been married for 34 years and five months now. I actually got to meet her through my cousin several years ago and we eventually met at a party again. That was about seven years before we got married.
Was it love at first sight?
I did like her from the very first time I saw her.
Did you immediately know that she was going to be your wife or how long did you take you to realise that?
It took some time although I liked her as we got associated with each other. About two/three years down the road, I had made up my mind though she was still at school and I just got out from the university, so it took a little time before we got married.
Over the years what do you find most endearing about her?
My wife is a very prayerful woman and it’s been very enriching for the family.
I went through ups and down due to politics but her prayers took us further into goals that really helped us as a family and also in my political career.
This has helped me to tolerate a lot more in the political space. I have also known God and love people more which this has helped me grow better politically.
Over the years have you learnt to trust her gut instincts?
Yes of course, she is actually good with it. Whenever she has a dream and offers me some advice, I always try to reason along with her and ask questions too. Many times when she cautions me, I know that is for my own good so I take very keen interest in it and do my best to keep her voice within me.
At the beginning where there times when you went against her advice and it backfired?
I would not exactly so because we have learnt to talk with each other. Right from the beginning, we tend to accommodate people but I did find in some occasion in the political space, she will caution me to be careful about this person. Sometimes, as a politician you deal with all manner of persons, the good, the bad and the ugly. Sometimes I do delay but I wouldn’t really say I have burnt my fingers. In some occasions I have find out that her word of caution was real because it played out.
Considering how difficult the political space is with its many intrigues, how did she react when you decided to run for Governor?
She was not hesitant because we prayed about it. Actually, before I went for Senate, I was not directly looking into governorship. But while l was at the Senate, the possibility of becoming Governor dawned on me. She backed me up and as we always do, we kept on praying. At a time, we went collectively on a three day fasting and praying. When we got confirmation from God, I decided to move ahead without looking back and it was supported all through by her.
Yes of course, she is actually good with it. Whenever she has a dream and offers me some advice, I always try to reason along with her and ask questions too. Many times when she cautions me, I know that is for my own good so I take very keen interest in it and do my best to keep her voice within me.
As you know when you are married and in public space, your marriage is looked at with magnifying glasses which sometimes it might put some pressure on both parties, As a man, what are the key things a husband should learn to adopt for sustenance of a good marriage?
Well the real truth is you have to define what you truly want as a family and you have to sit down with your wife to agree on it. The real thing is to love your wife which is also biblical. You should do everything to protect your wife and I have tried to work on that. That doesn’t mean we don’t have disagreements as humans, but one thing we try to do is not allow the disagreement take us to the next stage. We always find a way to resolve it. I have always
learnt to love my wife and with time, I started seeing her more as a sister and that matters a lot to me. Also, we need each other to grow the family and bring up the kids as representatives of who we are. Our Christian faith has truly helped us a lot too, we extended the love to our children and give room for everyone to pour out their mind regarding what they don’t like.
Right from the beginning we enjoyed our friendship and there after, that friendship has remained. She is also very warm to the members of my family which has helped a lot too. I don’t have a situation where family members will come and interfere with what goes on in my home because, if anything were to go wrong, they will support her instead of me. Another thing I love is how hard she works. She has made me proud. She retired as a Permanent Secretary the day she turned
60. Even at the point most of her colleagues stopped working because their husbands are top politicians, she never joined such group. She gained recognition for her work which has makes me proud of her.
Everyone knows what when you become Governor, you belong to the people. How did you prepare your wife and family for the role?
Firstly they know that even before I became
Governor, with the various positions I have held, the kids know that they will only see me occasionally because I like to work too hard. Beyond the normal office work, I am a very active politician so most weekends I am away but in some evenings I spend time with them. My wife tolerates and understands that those busy schedules were necessary for my political future, she understood I wouldn’t be a sit-at-home politician otherwise it won’t work. We are always living together until I went into the Senate when she had to stay back in Delta to do her work. At the time, I tried to be home every two weeks and when things started moving faster, I started coming home weekly. We have always tried to stay together, also the kids went back to school and over time, they adjusted to my timetable.
For someone that you speak so highly of and love so dearly, do you have a pet name for her and what would you like to say to her for going through this journey so far with you through thick and thin?
Well I won’t say it is a pet name, just an abbreviation of her name I have always called her Eddy from the very first day till date.
I must truly thank God for her life and I want my dear wife Eddy to know that I truly love her. She has helped me to grow my life both spiritually and physically. She has made me achieve the goals God has set for me by being very supportive. I cherish this and will continue to love her all the days of my life.