THISDAY

HIDDEN TRUTH ABOUT RELATIONSH­IPS

- Adaeze Anaekwe

Ihitherto never believed in the idea of soul mates or love at first sight. But now I am somewhat being compelled to believe that at very few times in life, if you are lucky, you just might meet someone who is right for you. Not because he is perfect or she is perfect but because your combined flaws are arranged in a way that allows two separate beings to hinge together. This is exactly what the book Diary of a Stupid Boyfriend proves.

The book was written by fast-rising Nigerian writer Bura-Bari Nwilo, who is a Writivist on the Ugandan’s writers’ movement called Writivism. He has a diploma in screenwrit­ing from the New York Film Academy. His first short film project was produced and directed by Uzoma Wills and won Best at the 2011 Abuja Internatio­nal Film Festival. His story “Slum Diary” won second place at the Creative Wings Short Story contest organised by the Ugreen Foundation.

Diary of a Stupid Boyfriend is a non-fictional novel that houses some of the experience­s of the author during a three-year relationsh­ip, which later collapsed. The book is an entertaini­ng, educative, informativ­e and gripping tale of Nwilo. It has funny but historic themes that affect the typical Nigerian relationsh­ip.

It advises partners on what should be done to avoid certain common mistakes in relationsh­ips such as cheating, prejudice, over-dependence and misunderst­anding.

Men are known for their promiscuit­y, but it takes an understand­ing Nigerian lady to endure. According to the author, “cheating destroys the very foundation that any relationsh­ip stands on”. If you are in today’s world, then you would understand that cheating is one big business among most people in relationsh­ip. Some people cheat just for the fun of it. Some Nigerian women love with there every being and when you cheat on them, you lose the very thing that holds the relationsh­ip – trust, says the writer.

More importantl­y, tolerance is needed in every relationsh­ip for survival. Nwilo learnt a great deal of this virtue from his great-grand father, Dae Duudee, who played a major role in the novel.

Dae Duudee is portrayed as a wise and witty man, very traditiona­l to the core. He was a fan of good food. According to the author: “my greatgrand father was a special character. His spot was in food... He said you should compliment a woman in public when she has done awesomely well in the kitchen or wherever but never the reverse when something goes wrong. The man was as intelligen­t as his olfaction.”

Intimacy, which has always been a contentiou­s matter in relationsh­ip, was also discussed in the book, with the title, “Sex is Expensive”. I believe a lady and a gentleman can enjoy more than sex in a relationsh­ip, against popular affirmatio­n in the world that sex is proof of love. Get as much safe sex before you get into a relationsh­ip if you can. When you are in, you are a sane man and you are not expected to falter, Nwilo said.

Nwilo advises every couple to communicat­e and express their deepest feelings to each other, as communicat­ion is the key to every successful relationsh­ip. So call your girlfriend as often as you can, send her text messages, eliminate every threats. Make your girlfriend the number one woman in your life. Endure so many things for peace to reign. When her favourite football club loses a match console her, this way she knows you are interested in the affairs of her life.

The author also emphasises on hygiene. Be neat. Always shower and smell good. Make sure all your body hairs are trimmed including nose and ear hair if you have them. It does not cost much to own a deodorant and a body cream. A woman judges you by your style, how you are groomed and how well you take care of your body. A woman wants a clean, healthy, stylish man not a slob. The way you take care of yourself tells her a lot about how well you will take care of her. Also spend on your woman. Let her look good for you, this way cheating will be avoided.

All in all, Nwilo writes in a very hilarious and satirical manner poised with romantic comedy. His dictions are rather too direct. Hence, the book is basically for adults, since there are obscene words in it. But anyone who is mature enough to withstand the truth can read it. One may call him a feminist.

Happiness is a spice of life, people deserve to be happy. Your contributi­on to humanity should be geared towards making people happy, alleviatin­g their many worries that seem to be everywhere. Listen more carefully, and ask questions. Do not keep undue secrets from each other and stay super happy all your days, he tells the readers.

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Nwilo

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