To My Dad at 79

Ithought of writing this piece as part of measures to honour and celebrate my loving dad; Pa Oluyemi Adesuyi, when he is 80 next year. To let the world know, you do not need to be a product of one of the Ivy Leagues before your children can acquire the quality education that will make them be at par with their mates all over the world.

You do not need to have your name listed in Forbes as one of the richest people in the world to be the best husband and father that your family will be proud of and cherish forever. It has to be now!

On March 30, after morning prayer, I called, in my usual practice, to know how my darling parents are doing and to wish my dad a happy birthday. No razzmatazz of clinging glasses or fanfare as it was not really a landmark one. At 80, we would roll out the drums if the Lord tarries, we had concluded - my siblings and I. Lo and behold, my Mum; Grace Adesuyi picked the call. The two of them were in the bathroom having their morning bath; at 79 and 73 years respectively.

This is marriage. This is love. This is oneness. I thought of several adjectives. I could not readily find a complete one to express what I felt. Then, I asked myself why not now and pray you keep celebrating God’s blessing in the lives of these rare gems – Dad and Mum. Not millionaires by any standard of definition, simply selfless and loving, and matchless in caring for all, including their biological children, and others.

Deprived of western education due to the sudden death of his father when he was barely 6 years old, he could only finish standard 6. His mother could not cope. Education then was never free. Growing up into adulthood, his level of education never affected his social life and reasoning.

God bestowed on him a selfcarriage that makes even the well educated feel comfortable relating with him. The charisma he exudes never betrayed him despite being a junior staff in the civil service until he retired. His highly educated bosses are his friends till date.

Dad knew the importance of education and good life and God arranged for him a virtuous woman, whose price is far above rubies. Mum came from a lineage where hard work, good virtues and excelling in whatever you do are their watchwords. For circumstances beyond human control, she never went beyond standard 5; a paragon of beauty, whose love for education will always make her give her all. What a unique couple! It’s a divine blessing to have come from the loins of these loving God’s children.

Our home; before my transit to another by marriage was a haven of oneness and love and it is, even now that we the offsprings are adults and literally on our own. Growing up, I always wondered if it was possible for my mum to give birth to my dad too. We children I am sure of. She is our mummy. But to dad, our Mummy is Mummy and he meant it in words and actions. Like most African men, brought up with the patriarchy idealism; dad retains power and the honour of a father; a disciplinarian to the core.

He never joked with the issues of discipline, academic excellence and moral uprightness; albeit with love. He “went out” like most men would do in traditional Yoruba setting. But the respect and honour for mum never waned. Nobody dared dishonour her and this is the standing rule till date.

Many childhood memories of his love for us keep coming to mindensuring we read after school hours, doing laundry for us even as teenagers, especially when any of us was down with malaria; giving mum a helping hand and keeping her company in the kitchen, seeing us off to church vigils, attending crusades to get prayer points to give mum; our prayer warrior, so she could pray for us, passing the night with any of us on hospital admission and lots and lots.

The one that stands out was his boarding an early commercial bus to University of Ibadan, from our hometown, Ile-Oluji, to submit my Master’s degree admission form. Even at a time of our family’s economic recession, he showed his fatherly love that made us realise money is good, but love can be freely given. It has no purchasing price.

Now as a political scientist in the academia, I always look forward to having political discourse with him. He refreshes my memory with his oral history. From colonial period to agitations for independence, regionalism, through Nigerian civil war and creation of states, to contemporary issues; he always presents vivid account with great analytical mind.

I was not surprised when I heard he was one of the early arrivals at the polling unit for March 28, 2015 presidential election in company of my mum. He exercised his franchise as a patriotic Nigerian and monitored the relay of results on News Media. Simply amazing!

There are rich dads, rich mums, and rich kids. Dad and mum may not belong to these categories. They are simply the best couple, best dad and mum. No human being could decide who would give birth to him or her. I always thank God; the first blessing God gave me is being their daughter, so also my siblings always admit.

I celebrate you dad and wish you peace and divine health in the years ahead.

–– Dr. Osunyikanmi writes from Lagos