LEGAL HUMOUR

A lotto house sued its former Security Guard for losses suffered during a fire. In the middle of Cross-Examining the Security Guard accused of falling asleep when the fire broke out at the lotto house, Counsel for the lotto owner shouted angrily at the Security Guard:

“…you call yourself an experienced Security Guard? You are just blowing smoke! It is obvious that the only thing we can see from your school-leaving certificate is that you passed English I passed Maths to sir, am experience!

You can’t even stay awake at your work place?! You were sleeping at 3 am when the fire broke out weren’t you? (With a guilty look on his face) Yes sir, I was.

You went to the storeroom to sleep where nobody would see you and while you slept people were running for their lives?!” Even more guilty looking) Yes sir, I did.

It was only when you heard people shouting that you got up and ran out, not thinking about anybody but yourself or even waiting for anyone is that not true?

Ah! No sir! I waited for my Oga sir, I saw him carrying big bundle of money and I help him sir! I didn’t leave him oo!

didn’t…

Stop there! Which money? It’s a lie, you

Ah! Yes sir I did now! Remember? Me and my Oga now come to your house that night with the money. He give you your share and say I should say I am sleeping when fire burn it…

(Sweating profusely and whispering to his client) Me’lord!! Ah! It is obviously obvious that this man is an illiterate that cannot speak English

Is that so Counsel? I thought it was “obvious that the only thing we can see from his school-leaving certificate is that he passed English? Is it also obvious that you and your client’s mathematics to the insurance company is faulty? I think it also obvious that you and your client will need a new lawyer?