Davido, Baby Mama and Tales by Moonlight

Let me seize this opportunity to send my congratulations to the warrior for the recent birth of a baby. I must commend his uncanny skill at multi-tasking. In between running a radio station, going to prison and apologizing to all those he had insulted he still had time for what Fela used to call “bend bend” sleep. What will man do All cannot be about fight This our own social crusaders different style, then if na Mandela

see over 20 children during his 27 years incarceration. My brother, now that you have achieved a major milestone in the struggle with the birth of this baby, can we now face the more important task of begging our way out of wahala? This child has to grow with his father in one Nigeria. He must see other Nigerians from the North, West and East as brothers as he grows up. My brother, this your crusade is empty and you must apply for state pardon especially now that Buhari is distracted with others mercenaries in PDP, just slip in your request, send it through the First Lady’s office and I am sure it will be given favourable consideration. Me too will join in the begging so don’t worry. There is no shame in begging my brother after all Ohukwu was granted a full pardon and he was rehabilitated in a new Nigeria so your own will not be different. Let me tell you why we can never break up in this country again my brother. You know Yoruba people like eating stew so much with all the pepper in the world. This tribal pastime comes with its own as they have the highest incidence of pile in the world. Guess which people have the patent to the local cure of pile, my brother it’s your people o, Igbo people. If you think I am lying go into Ajegunle and you will see the number of sign boards advertising Igbo native doctor services to their Yoruba brothers. Also our northern brothers can die for kola nut. They so love chewing it as it is believed that it gives them sexual prowess. So every ‘Mallam’ you see on the road is chewing the ‘gory’, but guess what they don’t grow it in their part of the country. It is here in the south that the plant is grown massively. Our northern brothers don’t really care about tomatoes and pepper but they grow it for us here in the south where we don’t joke with it as aforesaid. So this natural dependencies will keep us together. So let’s do the right thing you hear. Go beg and we go forgive you. Congrats again! when is the naming ceremony I want to come and give your child a Yoruba and Ibibio name to reflect the unity and peace it is bringing to our country?

This story is kind of intriguing. First that Davido accepted paternity of this child and also going ahead to be responsible for her welfare must be commended. You see as a fellow rock star I know what it means to have a pregnancy thrown at your face at the peak of your career. But Davido was man enough to say, yes I am responsible and for that he must be given a National Honour preferably the ones they give ex- Heads of State. But just as I was beginning to move on from this story, the issue of cannabis or no cannabis surfaced with all sort of tales coming out from both sides all culminating in the failed attempt at taking the Baby outside the country without its original birth mother. Guys I beg please let there be a ceasefire, let both sides allow common sense

brilliant Mudi and needed me to be part of the discussion. I quickly jumped at the opportunity. You see apart from Mudi being a friend, I also think he is one of the most talented designers in the country. The interview turned into a deep exposition of Mudi’s beliefs in the place of the black man in this world, his thoughts about the Nigerian spirit and the need for us to believe in ourselves and his sadness at our natural proclivity when it comes to how we react to success. With tears in his eyes he talked about how in search of funding for his new head office which I must say was breath-taking. He visited a senior friend who told him bluntly that he will stop patronizing him since he was now trying to equate himself to him. He also talked about how another major client stopped patronizing the moment he saw his car, claiming that since he had arrived, he – the client would now rather patronize younger people. Well, despite all these Mudi is still growing in height and stature and this reflected in the bottle of Coca Cola he bought for to prevail if for nothing else for the sake of this child who could now grow up messed up with all these struggles. It is obvious both sides love her passionately hence the intense struggle and that is the main reason why they should all apply maturity. Where this fails, I humbly send my plea to the First Lady to kindly intervene and seize the baby. At least in Aso Villa the baby will be able to contribute to policy formulation instead of her present position where she is being made to determine the price of cannabis in the open market. Please let common sense prevail Abeg, give back the baby to her birth mother and if there is any proven case of drug use, she should be rehabilitated instead of using it as a covet reason to ‘steal’ the child.

me at the Raddison and the counting of the chicken wings making sure they were complete three before he allowed me to eat. Watch out for that interview as Scot is making it the cover in the inaugural edition of his 150-page magazine. I forgot to ask the name of the magazine, as I had to rush out as the waiter was coming before Mudi will now ask me to pay for my three chicken wings.

Me I did not know that chiefs were now civil servants o. I have just learnt that the Olubadan must get permission to promote or elevate them and where that is not given he cannot do anything. But this Olubadan after consulting Ifa he was asked to go ahead and as you can imagine the Gov did not find it funny and asked that the promotion be reversed Ifa or no Ifa. Kai, I have a friend who is a chief in Ibadan. Otunba Biodipun Kola Daisi I hear he is even fifth to the throne. He must be shaking in his pants right now because as things are going they will all be made to do exams to either be promoted or retain their positions. I can just imaging hat kinds of questions

I am sending a desperate appeal to Olisa Metuh’s Pastor to join me in a five-day dry fast for the successful return of my brother from the EFCC gulag. He should immediately contact me for scripture passages and items we need to buy to ensure the efficacy of the prayers. We need to compare notes so that we do not duplicate efforts and mess up his quick return. The handsome man who just celebrated his 50th birthday is so urbane that the mosquitoes wherever they keep him will get so healthy from his fresh blood hence the sense of urgency. Some people are just not built for this kind of trauma and Chief Olisa is one of them. He himself knows this and that is why he has been screaming for some time now that the government was after him and when he saw the inevitable movement, he cried one last time that Buhari was not God. Me, as I seat here I am begging for him, please let’s release him I swear I will make him resign from this his very controversial job and give him a safer job controlling traffic somewhere calm.

The whole Lagos was there. Bolanle did it again surpassing all predictions in this her directorial debut. She wowed the crowd and packed full the MUSON for five days running with some people even being turned back for coming late. However, one of the highlights of the stage plays was the appearance of my very beautiful daughter CHANTAL. You should have seen her mesmerize and move the audience to tears with her performance. The fact that she did not have a speaking role and was part of a group of children on stage did not stop her charisma and immense talent showing. In fact, some people seated in the front rows had complained about too much energy coming from her that they went into a trance. Bolanle, well done and more power to your elbow.