Finding Love in Difficult Times
Love is not in the air this Valentine season, at least, not in Nigeria where the daily fight against corruption has crippled the economy. The dwindling value of the Naira is having a ripple effect on individual finances. Businesses suffer slow boom and unemployment is on increase, as many companies lay-off staff.
What this translates to is a low patronage of Valentine shows. Unlike the past when many catchy adverts of Valentine shows would have overwhelmed the media, only a handful of shows have been advertised and these evoke little or no enthusiasm.
The romance industry in Nigeria which hitherto on tenterhooks now suffers a slow death as there aren’t many things to look forward to. Giving a loved one a Valentine treat involves spending scarce cash which at the end of the day may dig a hole in one’s pocket. Whether you are taking your spouse or lover out to dinner or buying an expensive gift, it costs money. And the cry everywhere is that there is no money. Cash has become such a luxury. Who borders with romance when there are bills to pay, debts to offset, budget for projects?
Apparently, money is one of the causes of conflicts in many relationships. The lack of it has been linked to palpable tension and infidelity. Couples have the tendency to argue and fight more in a period of financial crisis than any other time. Left unresolved, such conflicts lead to divorce. But that too costs money, nowadays. Another closely linked factor is the fury that comes with lost selfesteem. This contributes to the feud. There are many people whose selfesteem is anchored largely on their bank accounts and when that dwindles, the fire in their relationship also fizzles out.
To hide this shortcoming, many, particularly the men, resort to a good round of sex or lovemaking as the ultimate painkiller. Often, he is not necessarily linked to the act, romantically. When he is not getting the much needed sexual relief from his wife, he looks outside his home. And this gets him into more trouble owing to his poor finances. Yet, the momentary pleasure overshadows the foreboding feeling of lack. Expectedly, this puts a strain on his relationship and causes more depression.
The prevailing challenge to the economy presents a bad situation for spinsters who were hopeful that Cupid would bring love their way this Valentine. With many a man looking for their daily bread, a girlfriend is not a welcome idea. Perhaps, if the offer comes on a platter of gold though, they may have a rethink.
Apparently, love has all the trappings of a complication in tough times. But does it mean that when there is no money, there is no love? Or should romance be kicked out because there is financial crisis? Absolutely not!
As difficult as it sounds, lack of money sometimes spurs intimacy. Indeed, it is during those rare moments of lack that true love blossoms.
There are people who believe in love and what it stands for. They do not allow physical things like money to get in the way. Money may be an important ingredient in a relationship, but it shouldn’t be the ultimate settler. You may need to ask yourself again, why indulge in a binge to create a romantic atmosphere for Valentine? Who says Valentine season should be limited to romantic dinner in upscale restaurants, wrapped boxes of chocolates, perfumes, lingerie and what have you? It is absolutely not.
The real deal about Valentine is spending it the way your heart knows best. Of course, the little treat add colour to the celebration but what about your heart? What does your Valentine gift say to your lover? Does it say ‘I love you always’ or ‘I love you now’? Are you celebrating love for the season or celebrating love forever? Think about that!
Instead of worrying your head over an expensive gift, give him or her a romantic treat at home. Why not seduce her with a delicious homemade meal. Dig up your cookbook or call your mother or grandmother for some love recipe and get busy in the kitchen. Make sure you have candles and roses because you will need them tonight, just in case cooking is not your thing. You can give her an oily massage followed by a scented bubble bath. Treat her with great TLC, make her feel special in the bath. Do not be in a hurry to get to the bedroom to complete the task, after the bath. Dry her up, then gently lead her to the sofa, pour a glass of wine for her. Do not talk or touch her too much, just let your eyes do the talking. Be a mystery just for tonight. Let her beg to be loved and touched by you. Just when she can’t bear the tension anymore, turn on the music. Let the following tracks complete the mission:
Happy Valentine! Let’s Get it On-Marvin Gaye Here and Now-Luther Vandross Caravan of Love-The Isley Brothers Sexy Cinderella-Lynden David Hall If Walls Could Talk-Celine Dion I Wanna Sex You Up-Color Me Badd I Will Always Love You-Whitney Houston Truly Madly Deeply-Savage Garden Nice and Slow-Usher One Night-The Corrs
APPARENTLY, LOVE HAS ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF A COMPLICATION IN TOUGH TIMES. BUT DOES IT MEAN THAT WHEN THERE IS NO MONEY, THERE IS NO LOVE? OR SHOULD ROMANCE BE KICKED OUT BECAUSE THERE IS FINANCIAL CRISIS? ABSOLUTELY NOT!