The Duke of Shomolu @48
My people that is how like joke o I have clocked 48. Like play like play I will soon hit 50 and I have not yet become a senator talk less of being recalled. Have I failed in life? This question keeps bugging me, depressing me and making me ask questions about my purpose in life. At my age, some of my mates have already been impeached as governors, others have even formed separatist movements, be like say I even senior this Nnamdi Kanu guy, me I am here parading about with a superfluous title given to me by my maiguard who during a scuffle over unpaid salaries mentioned that ‘oga you just dey do like you be Duke’ and the Oba of Shomolu who was just passing by on his bike stopped and immediately conferred the title on me. I am still awaiting its ratification from the only Asiwaju of Lagos although I am allowed to parade myself as such. As I read our history books, I see some people had emerged as presidents and military heads of state at innocent ages like 36. Kai, others have even gone as far as becoming the richest men in Africa and parading about. Well it is not too late to make my mark in this country that I believe so much in. My generation has given so much to this country and has suffered much more than the rest. Na we dem born during civil war, so most of us did not drink breast milk and you can see the effect on some of us the way we are going about, cross carpeting, joining and changing political parties the way babies with dysentery change diapers, collapsing huge telecommunications firms, forming rogue news websites and slandering all kinds of eminent NIGERIANS WITH FAKE NEWS. Well it is not too late to redeem ourselves. Personally for me, I have decided to take up the plight of the single female, light in complexion, full-bodied members of our generation as a personal mission. I have decided to work very close to them, counselling, encouraging them as they begin to lose hope in ever getting married. You see life is much more than marriage, you can still find fulfillment in sharing, being generous and in understanding that polygamy is not such a bad thing after all. Well, to celebrate my birthday, my colleagues and friends all came together and bought me just one bottle of wine claiming recession and another even went as far as giving me over fifty bottles of coca cola - that is my favourite drink with all my titles emblazoned on the label. All my titles o from Duke of Shomolu to Obong Ikpaisong of Anyiam Nsit, Udua Mkpafi and my less known title conferred on me by Prince Charles of UK when the Queen was on leave - Earl of Mushin in recognition of my activities during the last riots there when I saved a light-complexioned lady from the mob. Happy birthday to me.