LEGAL HUMOUR

I broke a mirror the other day. That's seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

••• A man walked into the local Chamber of Commerce of a small town, obviously desperate. Seeing a man at the counter, the stranger asks, "Is there a criminal attorney in town?" To which the man behind the counter immediately quipped, "Yeah, but we can't prove it yet!"

••• Jury: A collection of people banded together for the purpose of deciding which side has hired the better lawyer.

••• What's the difference between a porcupine and two attorneys in a Porsche? The porcupine has its pricks on the outside.

••• What Do You Call A Smiling, Nice Person At A Bar Association Convention?

The Caterer. ••• What Do Dinosaurs And Good Lawyers Have In Common? They're both extinct.

••• What Do You Call A Lawyer With An IQ Of 100? Your Honour.

••• What's The Difference Between An Accountant And A Lawyer? Accountants know they're boring.

••• What's The Difference Between A Good Lawyer And A Bad Lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

••• What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Boxing Referee?

A Boxing Referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight. ••• How does an Attorney sleep? First, he lies on one side, then, he lies on the other.