THISDAY

HERBERT WIGWE : HOW BODY?

- MUCH ADO ABOUT FEMALE UNDIES

Just sending a sweet shout out to you my brother. Heard some very funny story about your health, I am not believing and instead praying to God for continued good health and a very long life for you to continue to touch lives the way you have been doing. Please take your health very seriously, drink a lot of water, take fruits and vegetables, jog 30 minutes a day and watch the weight and you will be ok. You remain one of the very few I respect. You may not remember me but let me tell you, you once interviewe­d me for a job at Access. I was to be given one big post as recommende­d by Obinna. You asked to see me and I was ushered into your beautiful office. You were looking so handsome and well dressed. You admired my suit and asked me some questions about my plans for Access bank. I answered very brilliantl­y and you were quite impressed. You then said, I should go see your Boss Aig and that it was just formality since he was leaving; that I should just go say hi. Na there I jam road block o. Aig kept me waiting for over eight hours with no food or drink and came in and in less than three minutes declared that I was not a fit. Kai, that day I cried and swore that the bank will collapse in 4 hours except I was not a true worshiper of Orisha. Well, I thank God my prayers were not answered as your bank has grown to a very huge edifice and with this upcoming takeover of Diamond bank putting you in a very powerful position amongst the league of big banks. Well done. As for Aig, I don forgive am. Saw him the other day at an event and greeted him, he shook me and I did not want to remind him so that he would not feel uncomforta­ble since I am now the Duke of Shomolu and can make things happen. I greeted him and we smiled and I admired his suit and asked him for it and he said it was not my size and we both laughed. The man cannot change but great guy all the same. Anyways, this is my prayer for you and I know God will answer it. Stay blessed and keep fit.

They have moved from rituals, kidnapping and armed robberies to stealing female undies. You see how creative our brothers in the underworld can be. What even took their minds to that kind thing? When other nations are discoverin­g great technologi­cal feats to transform the lives of their people, we are discoverin­g great diabolical feats like this one. Soon they would be asking for government grants to enable more research into the issue. Why would female undies now become a weapon of mass destructio­n to the point that the police have said that they will try suspects for murder? The good thing about the whole thing now is that some ladies are working round without undies for fear of being attacked. Which kind country be this? Na wa.

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