How to End Rigging in Nigeria
Let us perform an experiment. Let us make a Super Law that says if you are an elected public officer at any level of government, you must enrol all your children in public schools. You cannot send your children to private or foreign schools. If they are already in private or foreign schools, you must withdraw and enrol them in Nigerian public schools after you are elected into office. Also, you and your family members must receive medical treatment at government-owned hospitals in Nigeria. Your wife must give birth at a primary healthcare centre. No member of your family, including yourself, can receive medical treatment in a private or foreign hospital, except treatment is not available in Nigeria, and this has to be confirmed by the Nigerian Medical Association (NMA).
You and members of your family must travel by road anywhere you want to go in Nigeria, expect it is more than 500 kilometres. You cannot to shut down schools, impose curfews and be accompanied on the road trip by armed deploy soldiers simply because we want to escorts. No elected public officer, president hold elections. The only people you will find and governor inclusive, will be allowed to in politics are those who genuinely want to fly private or presidential jets even if they serve the society. Anybody who wants to go are going to Australia. They must all take to public office to accumulate wealth and walk commercial flights, and only the president and on the heads of Nigerians will not even bother governor can fly first class if they so desire. to pick the nomination form. Only genuine No elected public officer is allowed to use human beings will go into politics. a motorcade with more than three cars. No There will be uncountable accidental benefits public officer is allowed to use siren — the to Nigeria. If the children of politicians are wailing machine should be reserved for the forced to attend public schools, all the schools emergency services, notably the fire brigade and will suddenly become excellent, trust me. We ambulances. Nobody should block any road will have the best public schools in Africa. If because a governor or president is visiting. the politician’s wife has to give birth at the
Let us take the experiment further. Elected primary healthcare centre, even St. Nicholas public officers should be paid only “living” Hospital will become green with envy at the wages and evidently reasonable allowances. new standard of the centres. If our political There should be no severance package beyond leaders have to regularly travel by land without a defined, realistic pension judging by global armed escorts and siren, not only will the police standards. There should be nothing like become efficient and chase away armed robbers “estacode” for travels. The state will bear your and kidnappers from the roads, even ordinary expenses — hotel, feeding and transportation potholes will disappear. It is an experiment — within predefined limits. There should worth trying! be no foreign trips without clearly defined Imagine that the punishment for awarding a goals. You must appoint all your aides from contract to your fronts is a tiny bullet entering the civil service, so we are not going to be through your nostril and exiting at the back bearing extra costs to provide you with special your head. You will most likely not want to assistants and special advisers. Let the civil kill to hold such a position. And even if you service employ and train the best. We have decide to seek office, the prospect of joining all the technocrats in the civil service so let your ancestors so early in the day will strike us make use of them, in addition to raising the fear of God into your heart. You will not the standards of recruitment. dare go into politics if your interest is not the
Let us step it up now. We should design development of Nigeria. It will not matter an accountability and transparency system whether or not you are a member of the ruling that will make it virtually impossible for a party before the Super Law comes for you. political office holder to take one kobo out Your sins will not be forgiven even if you of the treasury. This system will be so crafted are the founder of the ruling party. In the that you cannot even award contracts to your end, there will be enough money to spend friends, families and fronts because your power on healthcare, education and infrastructure. will be whittled down and circumscribed. In not time, we will not recognise Nigeria Inflation of contracts is virtually impossible again. We will think we are in Japan. as there will be predefined costing templates If you think my experiment is Utopian, then and predetermined profit margins. You cannot you are a stranger here. When the Nnamdi say you bought a can of Coke for N155, for Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja, was shut example. Above all, if you steal public funds, down for repairs in 2017 and the Kaduna airport a solitary bullet will be fired through your became the alternative, did you notice that ear or between your eyes — depending on kidnappers and potholes disappeared from the how you like it. Abuja-Kaduna highway? You guessed right:
Now, let us begin to catch our breath a little. the moment the elite needed to use the road, What would happen if indeed we make a government decided to do the right thing. No Super Law to enforce these rules? I can assure governor or minister wanted to be kidnapped. you straightaway: there will be almost nothing That is the way we roll. The Yoruba say a to fight over again! There will be no more wicked man does not do wickedness to himself. rigging, no more violent elections, and no Even when the French President, Emmanuel more inconclusive polls. We will not have Macron, visited Lagos in 2018, suddenly all the
THISDAY Newspapers Limited. bad roads in Ikeja were repaired and broken down vehicles were cleared from sight. Our leaders know what is good, believe you me.
I am sorry if I have upset you today with my proposed experiment. Remember, it is just an experiment, so don’t be too upset. I don’t even believe in capital punishment. Let me be kind a bit then. One, we should use four years to prepare for the experiment. It shouldn’t start immediately so that we can tidy things up. The schools and hospitals should be in a decent state before take-off. Two, there should be enough guarantees to prevent abuses. Three, the experiment should not last for more than 25 years. If there is still election rigging and violence after 25 years, the experiment will have failed. We should then return to the pre-Super Law era. But I am confident that this experiment will work. A trial will convince us. Finally, I would suggest that the Super Law should also apply to ALL civil servants and political appointees, not just elected officials.
As for those who don’t understand irony and might have concluded that ‘Simon has gone rogue this morning’, let me now say it in your language: elections are inevitably violent and atrociously competitive in societies where public office holders have unfettered access to public funds — with little or no accountability. By just becoming a lawmaker, even at state level, you can become a billionaire overnight. You can create perks for yourself. You can pad budgets. You can harass ministries, departments and agencies to employ your thugs, to pay for your accommodation, to buy you first class air tickets, and to award inflated contracts to your fronts. You can, overnight, move from your shack in Mushin to a mansion on Banana Island. How on earth will elections be peaceful?
You see, people don’t fight over nothing. Why would elections be atrocious if you will be forced to withdraw your children from foreign schools and enrol them in Nigeria? Why would you want to kill for an office that will not allow you to fly private jets and chattered flights — even if you owned them before you were elected? Why would you hire thugs to snatch ballot boxes when you will not be able to take one kobo more than your entitlement? You cannot build an extra house, cannot use siren, cannot have a long motorcade, cannot jump queues and cannot get your family members into boards of agencies, so what are you looking for in public office if not that you really want to serve? You must really want to sacrifice for the progress of Nigeria!
Check out the countries in the world where elections are treated as warfare and you will find that (1) there is crime and there is no punishment (2) there is easy money in public office. These are the incentives for bad behaviour. If there is little or no accountability, it means when you enter public office, you can please yourself and your friends without consequences. Even where there are consequences, they are not applied uniformly. If you belong to the right clique, you will get away with rape and murder. Human beings are not stupid. We take calculated risks. If the risk is low and the reward is high, bad behaviour will become the gold standard. Until public office is no longer a shortcut to wealth and crimes are punished uniformly and swiftly across board, expect more rigging and more violence in future elections. Except, of course, we pass the Super Law. Experiment.