LEGAL HUMOUR

An Engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the Engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the Engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this Engineer is going to come up with next".

God replies, "What??? You've got an Engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have got down there; send him up here”.

Satan says, "No way. I like having an Engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him”. God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue”. Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a Lawyer?"

A defending Attorney was cross examining a Coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" "No," the Coroner replied. The Attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" The Coroner said, "No."

"Did you check for breathing?", asked the Attorney. Again, the Coroner replied, "No." The Attorney asked, "So when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

The Coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk,

but, for all I know, he could be out there practicing law somewhere”.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.