Happy Birthday Mr. President
Sir, notice I did not call you Major General? That would be looking for trouble on the occasion of your lovely birthday. I have seen videos of your people who have gone out of their way to get carpenters design huge and very ugly birthday cards for you. The one I watched, I saw someone dressed like the doormen at GT Bank showing you the cards and telling you who sent them - I didn’t see Fowler’s own sha, I wonder why. Mbok, more ugly cards I have not seen in my life. Not deserving of a huge statesman of your stature. Well, we here in Shomolu really do have no choice but to wish you a happy birthday and a Godguided life. A lot of people don’t like you and much more pretend to like you. Me, I am indifferent, I just dey look you abi what else can I say? Things are not good my lord. Inflation is double digit and life is really dreary. So as I watch you inspect those cards and crack some dry jokes, I try very hard to smile. My brother please na, this thing cannot be that difficult. If we cannot do anything about the economy at least let’s affect the ones that are within our control. Let’s obey court judgments. Let Nigerians feel free to express themselves without fear of being strangled like American wrestlers. I am sorry, I should really be wishing you a happy birthday instead of railing against the system. It’s just that the suffering is just too much and if I no lay am on you, whose table would I lay it on? Forgive me sir, I hope you enjoyed your day. We just dey here they wait for Godot.