And Four Other Things…

NOT SARS ALONE

I don’t want to be an alarmist, but SARS is not the most deadly unit of the Nigeria Police Force. In fact, those who are very familiar with NPF operations have told me that SARS can be regarded as a gang of nice guys compared to two others. “When you are talking about impunity and savagery, SARS is still learning the job compared to the special anti-kidnapping squad (SAKS) and the special anti-cultism squad (SACS),” a police source told me. “It was SACS operatives that killed Kolade Johnson at the viewing centre in Lagos in March 2019 but people thought it was SARS.” The source said members of the disbanded SARS could even be reposted to the two deadlier units. Chilling.

LAUREL FOR LAURETTA

One thing Nigerians have had to put up with is the uncouth communication coming from presidential spokespersons. They have been talking down on Nigerians, insulting them at every turn and calling them “wailers”. But they have been uncharacteristically quiet since the #EndSARS protests broke out, although Madam Lauretta Onochie, the Queen of the Pack, tried to run her mouth initially. I find it weird that presidential spokespersons can be this gentle. That must count as a gain from these protests. Now that the eternally savage Onochie has been nominated as an INEC commissioner, she has even become gentler. If I’m in a dream, please don’t wake me up. Surreal.

THE NORTH AND SARS

Different strokes for different folks. While SARS is known in most of southern Nigeria for robbing and killing innocent Nigerians — especially young persons with tattoos, dreadlocks and ATM cards — northern governors said they are a blessing in the region as they have been combating armed robbery. This is interesting. However, in my books, security agencies have murdered thousands of innocent citizens in the north, particularly in Borno state, since the Boko Haram militancy started. There have been rapes and massacres, while fish traders are regularly robbed at gunpoint by security agents. What have the northern governors ever done about this? Hypocrisy.

SARS AND SWAT

Commonsense is not common, as they say. Nigerians have been complaining about SARS for ages, and on different occasions the police authorities always said they would reform the unit. In 2018,they changed the name to F-SARS as proof of reform. I’m not joking! So when Nigerians launched #EndSARS protests, the police authorities said SARS had been disbanded and immediately announced that the setting-up of the special weapons and tactics team (SWAT). Dear God, why are our leaders so clueless? If you are going to set up SWAT at all, this is the most inappropriate time to announce it. Deescalate tension first before anything else. Is it so hard to understand? Incredible.