Bola Tinubu as the New Zacchaeus in Town
Please, which one is the cybersecurity levy again o? This was my first reaction when I saw the report. Not sure if it is .005% or .5%. The levy has hit Nigerians with a thud that has made them just give up. For me, immediately I saw the report. I rushed to the bible to see the physical description of Zacchaeus, the famous tax collector, to see if there was any resemblance between him and our Commander-in-Chief, President Bola Tinubu. Apart from the description that puts Zacchaeus as short, I do not see any other real striking resemblance since there has been no report that President Tinubu knows how to climb trees or has climbed any tree in his life. Remember that Zacchaeus, who was so disliked, had to climb a tree to see Jesus. Anyways, amid the hoopla that has heralded this one too many levies, let us look at it from this angle. Oya everybody put yourself in Tinubu’s shoes- you have just been sworn in and they have just given you the handover report. The first thing you do is to scream “egbami oooo.” The treasury is empty, looted. No money. Kai, the next thing you see is debt. The zeroes behind the debt are amazing, by this time, your mouth is wide open with spittle dribbling down from it. Wait o, it has not finished o, then they show you, your financial obligations on capital projects, wages and the rest and while you are at it, the Naira is dropping, inflation is skyrocketing, multinationals are declaring humongous
losses and everything is becoming chaotic and just as you are about to knock your head on the table, Gbaja reminds you that “Oga, that your statement at your swearing in – Subsidy is gone- has just been rated the worst ever inaugural speech in the history of inaugural speeches.” You will just run to Remi in the bedroom and say, “Ahhhh Mummy, who send us oooooo!” Well, the next morning you wake up, take your bath, eat your agbado and move to the office. We have to reflate the economy and since FDI’s are not quick to cometaxes!!! My people, me in Tinubu’s shoes, will do the same as a short-term fix. I will ramp up taxes and levies strategically, in a bid to stabilise government revenues and then plough back the funds as they come into strategic sectors of the economy and welfare in such a way that it will serve like fuel going into a car that the tank was just emptied. My people, the cry should not be on the levies but on how the funds are being managed. Is Zacchaeus going to tax our blood only to be spending billions on pilgrimage or some white elephant projects or worse still, to be pillaged by his officials, like that Humanitarian Ministry damsel? I have no problem with the levies and taxes, they are needed, but what we should now be looking at is their utilisation. Simple. So, for now, Ribadu the NSA honcho should be the most watched Nigerian. Let’s watch and see how the funds would be expended. Simple.