WOFAI FADA: MIXED BLESSINGS

This very beautiful actress recently released a very beautiful video showcasing her new beau. In the video, she announced to the world that she was engaged to this gorgeous Yoruba man and was even reported to be a “baby” for him. Oh, the video was beautiful, she looked so happy and fulfilled. The man who must have felt blessed also looked so happy. So, so happy, that he rode a bicycle from Isale Eko to Calabar to go and collect palm wine served by this bewitchingly beautiful Calabar damsel. Kai, I sighed. You know I am a romantic. Ohhhhh, I swooned. They looked so happy together and I vowed to attend the wedding ceremonies. You know Wofai is my friend and I met her through my in-law Ohimai who took me to her Just Afang restaurant in Ikoyi where I ate free afang pretending to be a reporter. Anyways, someone has now poured “sand sand” as they say on my sister’s parade. The Coker family have reportedly in an open letter as seen on social media not to be too happy at the liaison. In a released tape, one “amebo” aunty was heard taunting a voice purportedly being that of the man’s father making that one proclaim very clearly, “We are not aware oooooo. The girl is 38 and our boy is 30,” he continued. “They have only met for six months and I hear she is pregnant,” he continued. The safety of the girl should be paramount, he proclaimed in a very strong Yorubaaccented English. Mbok, what all of these reminded me of, was when I took Duchess to my Ibibio parents. My mother almost fainted. She took me aside and said, “So in all of this Lagos, you cannot find a beautiful girl from Akwa Ibom to marry? Even if you cannot find one, what of Igbo or even Delta, what are you doing with an “atoro uduang ku ufik” girl?” I was livid. I thought it was a joke. Is this not the same mama who fought the civil war so Nigeria could be one, why is she now saying this? I looked at my father and he too said the same thing in our language so that Duchess would not hear. Mbok, I was shocked because all of my life and up till that time, I did not know I was living with racist o. Real ku klux klan in Shomolu. When Duchess left, I looked at my parents and asked one last time: “Are you guys really serious about this? Tell me you are joking. Tell me she is short, not beautiful enough, did not go to school but don’t tell me she is Yoruba, abeg make I no break my head for this una wall.” My father looked at me very sternly and said in a conspiratorial voice, “Joe, we don’t marry Yoruba people. Look around you, who has married a Yoruba that you know. Mbok, let your mother find a nice young Ibibio girl for you.” I just stood up, went to Duchess who was then a 22-year-old lass and asked her clearly. Are you ready and she said yes. I asked her again, are you ready and she said yes. I went straight to Shomolu local government and had a secret wedding. I told them that I no get Papa and I no get Mama, make them let me sign abeg. Today, I have Olusola, Boluwatife and Zara – chai I don forget Zara Yoruba name and the sky has not fallen. My sister and brother, if you love yourself, abeg ignore those people. You have kuku given the girl bele, come and I will advise you on how to do a secret wedding for Shomolu local government. That mama that did my own 26 years ago is still there, abeg. Just ignore those people. God bless you.