Trea­sure in ev­ery home, not only on Mother’s Day

Oman Daily Observer - - ANALYSIS -

Sort­ing out what’s im­por­tant to us is such a chal­lenge. Look at any stage of your life, at any time in your life, and look back on your life, and you will re­alise just how dif­fi­cult it is to know, and have clar­ity in life, yet one thing never changes. Just think about it. When you are a new­born baby, the things that are im­por­tant to you are Mama, Mama and Mama. Mama is the source of food, warmth and com­fort. At best, Baba can only sat­isfy two of those needs, and there can never be any sub­sti­tute for a mother’s love can there? You can imag­ine it……. Baby think­ing, “Mama, I’m cold.” Or, “Mama, I’m hun­gry.” Mama, “Oh baby, come to Mama.” While Baba will sim­ply take the baby to Mama.

When you are tod­dler stage, and early child­hood, it’s all about want­ing to do things, but those lit­tle arms and legs won’t work the way they should, and there are falls and dis­ap­point­ment, maybe even skinned knees and el­bows. Baba will say “Get up, it didn’t re­ally hurt,” and “you’ll learn.” Pro­vid­ing prac­ti­cal life sup­port, and life lessons, but it’s Mama who cud­dles you and makes you feel bet­ter about your­self. Baba’s words are for the re­flec­tive time, later, but Mama is the now.

Child­hood and ado­les­cence morph to­gether so quickly, and while maybe not seam­lessly, are redo­lent with one very key, global el­e­ment, as the “Can I?’ and “I want to…” ques­tions take on a dom­i­nant per­spec­tive in par­ent com­mu­ni­ca­tions, and these paragons of youth em­bark on a pol­icy of ask­ing Dad first (about any­thing). Boys ask Dad first be­cause they want to be recog­nised as equals, while girls ask Dads first be­cause daugh­ters can twist fa­thers around their lit­tle finger. But both have Mum as a ‘sure­fire’ so­lu­tion if ‘Plan A’ doesn’t work.

By that time, your chil­dren have grown up, have in­de­pen­dent thoughts and opin­ions, have ra­tio­nalised their re­li­gious and aca­demic per­spec­tives, and have a sig­nif­i­cant fo­cus on very dif­fer­ent life sec­tors. Most of the young men will fo­cus on phones, foot­ball or cars, while the young women will be­come devo­tees of phones, fash­ion, la­bels, brands and style. The lat­ter not out of van­ity, but wish­ing to present them­selves as a credit to their fam­ily, es­pe­cially their Dad.

Also maybe, “be­cause they de­serve it.” These are the very same young women who will wake up one day and think, “My good­ness Mum, you were right about ev­ery­thing.” These young women though, at this age, still know how to ma­nip­u­late their Dads, com­fort­able in the knowl­edge that Dads will trea­sure and pro­tect their daugh­ters al­ways, and woe be­tide any­one who up­sets that dy­namic. On the other hand, the young men, hav­ing es­tab­lished them­selves in their fa­ther’s eyes as the ‘next big thing’, are con­tent to play foot­ball, or cruise around in their cars.

So now, any­thing daugh­ters want, they go to Dad, who, have you ever no­ticed they still call Baba when they want some­thing? Mean­time, the boys go to Mum, be­cause Mums know their boys will leave them soon to go to ‘an­other woman’. She may be the per­fect ‘other woman,’ that daugh­ter-in-law, but she will al­ways be the one who took ‘Mama’s lit­tle boy’ away.

And we won­der why Mums some­times de­serve flow­ers or choco­lates. The re­al­ity which we men should recog­nise more of­ten is ap­par­ent ev­ery evening. Mums will: Pick up the kids toys, clean up the empty chip pack­ets, put the cups and glasses in the dish­washer, pick up stray cloth­ing ly­ing around, throw them into, and start the wash­ing ma­chine, make sure that the whole house­hold has clean clothes for the morn­ing, brush her teeth and pre­pare for bed, fold down the bed and, say­ing a brief prayer, will re­tire till to­mor­row. Dad, he will go to bed! Food for thought huh! Mums aren’t only for Mother’s Day.

It’s Mama who cud­dles you and makes you feel bet­ter about your­self. Baba’s words are for the re­flec­tive time, later, but Mama is the now

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