CALM IN CONFIDENCE, INSTIL SAFE SHOULD AND PARENTS STRESS-FREE A ENABLE TO CHILDREN PANDEMIC AMID EXPERIENCE LEARNING

hildren face challenges when heading back to school and this year’s return is different. Parents have an essential role in easing the jitters of returning to in-person learning this year. It is time to reassess what is best for our children and to consider establishing new norms. Here are a few suggestions to help parents get started.

After more than a year of learning virtually, returning to school may require managing a new schedule. As a parent, you can ease your child’s anxiety by modelling confidence and calm behaviour and by imposing structure in family life, mealtime, homework and bedtime routines.

Getting out of home and getting back to school will be a difficult time for some children. It is vital to keep communication open at this vulnerable time. If you have not already started setting time aside each day to talk to your child about challenges and new experiences at school, now is the perfect moment.

Anxious parents send anxious kids to school. Children are like sponges, absorbing energy and adopting the behaviours around them. One of the most helpful things you can do is model calm, confident behaviour, particularly while helping a child get ready for school. A child usually starts school no calmer than her leastrelaxed parent.

Teachers matter even more this year. Have open communication with teachers. The teachers can give you all kinds of information — Information about learning difficulties and peer problems and academic achievements and close friendships. Teachers are allies and we should talk to them regularly.

Resist the urge to overschedule. Many kids are eager to join their peers in extracurricular activities that they enjoy and many parents want their children to be out of the house, off devices and engaging in healthy tasks. After months of restrictions, most parents’ instinct might be to dive back in and immediately pack their child’s schedule with the sports, arts and other activities they have been missing. However, it is better to ease back into activities slowly and let your child take the lead.

Avoid an excessive focus on grades this year. Some parents are worried about learning loss from last year and may feel pressure to load kids up with additional coursework and tutoring. No one wants to see their child left behind, but some parents may be panicking prematurely. Educators know that students will likely be starting from different places this year, and many are adjusting their curricula and arranging for extra resources. Wait for the school to recommend when additional help may be needed.

Aim for a healthy child — physically and emotionally — who is motivated and engaged.

Focus on human connection and relationships. While so many of us long to return to in-person school and activities, reentry may be challenging. Returning to a highly structured routine with limited flexibility may be a welcome relief and significant stress for others. Some children have thrived emotionally or academically during remote learning — avoiding social pressures, bullying, or racism. Other children have experienced unprecedented isolation from their peers, teachers, communities and support systems. Some will bounce back quickly and reestablish their relationships and connections. Others may lack confidence in their social skills and need more support and encouragement as they return, especially as they reenter spaces that did not feel safe before the pandemic.

You know your child best. Pay close attention and listen to their concerns. If they show signs of not wanting to go back to school, investigate what might be the root cause. If the first week is hard, consider whether this may be because of exhaustion, social anxiety, not feeling academically ready, or legitimate fears about Covid.

Check-in with your child regularly, normalise their experiences and offer reassurance. Reach out to teachers and counsellors at school if your child is feeling particularly disconnected and could use some help reestablishing trusting relationships.

Support your children where they are. Our children have learned critical coping skills in 2020 that will serve them well as they navigate back to school. Have patience during this period; everyone, including parents and teachers, may need more time to settle in and establish routines. Do not assume your child’s experiences and emotions about returning to school match your own. Stay attentive to the health and well-being of your child as you work together to negotiate a safe, sane and balanced return to school.

The author is an educational psychologist.

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