Oman Daily Observer

Escaping overparent­ing trap PARENTING

- DR NISMA HARIS The writer is a general physician, content creator

has never been this challengin­g as it is now *2$)" /* /# .&4Ƕ-* & / ( ")$ơ - /$*) *! /# +- . )/Ƕ 4 &$ .ǭ - '(.ǟ

As parents or guardians, we move heaven and earth to provide comfort and security to our children but are we going too far to make this world overly comfortabl­e without letting them taste the bluntness of the real world? Are we overparent­ing our kids? Ǭ 1 -+ - )/$)"ǭ *- Ǭ# '$ *+/ + - )/$)"ǭ$.2# )2 *( *1 -*) -) !*- *0- #$' ǭ. 2 ''Ƕ $)"Ǡ when we are not willing to let them experiment with their pursuits or face their fears because we are previously consumed with the anxiety that *0- #$' 2$'' " / #0-/ *- ( 4 .0ƥ - *). ,0 ) . /# / # 2*)ǭ/ ' /*

-ǟ Then other times, there is too much gentleness in our behaviour and we ! $' /* $+# - /# $ƥ - ) /2 ) disciplini­ng and becoming rigid; we are pushing our limits to engage them, /* ơ) .*'0/$*). /* /# $- *- *( issues, over planning every phase *! /# $- '$! ) /-4$)" /* ơ/ /# ( $) those preset benchmarks to convince yourself that they are matching their + -. *- .* $ /4 ./ ) - .ǟ

Thus, eventually, we end up overparent­ing to be not crowned as a strict + - )/ǟ

0/ *! *0- ++- # ).$*)Ǡ 2 /-4 /* interfere in the pettiest of things that are not even needed in the name of +-*/ /$*) ) '*1 ǟ $/ 4 $/Ǡ 2 gan dictating their lives by poking in 2# - /# 4 ) ( ) " *) /# $- *2)ǟ

$)" #$' Ƥ - -/ $) age because you are worried that he 2*)ǭ/ ' /* / +-*+ -'4Ǡ # '+$)" them take a shower when he or she is capable enough to do it by himself or themselves, or running all the time Ƥ - /# ( /* ,0 ) # '' /# $- ) . ) 2 )/.Ǣ - .*( *! /# - ƣ ".

WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE HERE NOT TO TAKE CONTROL IN OUR HANDS; RATHER HOLD THEIR HANDS AND GUIDE THEM ALONG THE WAY

/# / 2 - -$Ƥ$)" !-*( /# -* *! + - )/$)" /* *1 -+ - )/$)"ǟ

Somewhere beneath, the obsession lies that I want to be there for my child

1 ) 2# ) # $. + ' *! *$)" ./0ƥ well, we coat it and call it love but it is 2 /# / 2 - .*2$)" $) #$. 2 4ǟ

! *0-. Ǡ $/ $. $)) / '4 ) /0- ' !*a parent to worry about their child to a certain extent but simultaneo­usly, it is pivotal to understand that the child needs to experience their part of pain, #0-/Ǡ ! $'0- Ǡ *- '*..ǟ * ( & /# ( independen­t and valiant, we need to take a back seat sometimes so that they can navigate through their set of $..0 .ǟ

Subsequent­ly, overparent­ing a child stagnates his learning process, his thinking and processing abilities, and his resilience to tolerate failure and + $)ǟ 0. # # .) 1 - 3+ -$enced a factual life outside a cocooned '$! Ǡ 2 # 1 - / !*- /# (ǟ

Pubmed Central in their research published has shown many negative consequenc­es of overparent­ing among emerging adult children, such as personalit­y and psychologi­cal $..0 . Ǿ ǟ"ǟ )/$/' ( )/Ǡ + -! /$*)ism), lack of adequate competenci­es Ǿ ǟ"ǟ . '!Ƕ- "0' /$*)Ǡ *+$)" .&$''.Ǡ friendship, and dating competence), $)/ -) '$.$)" Ǿ ǟ"ǟ )3$ /4Ǡ +- ..$*)Ǡ low life satisfacti­on) and externalis­ing +-* ' (.Ǿ ǟ"ǟ.0 ./ ) 0. Ǡ.* $ ' ( $ $ /$*).ǟ

We need to understand that we are here not to take control in our hands; rather hold their hands and guide them along the way, letting them go 2# ) /# 4 ! ' *)ơ )/ )*0"# /* embark on new aspiration­s, letting them experience life in their creative ways with the assurance that they have got our back; in case things go 2-*)"ǟ

When we perceive that we are not clipping their wings but rather train$)" /# ( /* ƣ4 $) /# #$"# ./ .&$ . through all the storms, parenting ( /. $/. /-0 .. ) ǟ

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