Thanks for staying awake
Arecent spate of fatal heart attacks among movie directors at relatively young ages ( less than 45) was the subject of indepth TV news reporting. Interviewed directors and stars talked about shoots that took more than twenty hours straight in a rush to complete teleserye installments. The effort to stay awake with uppers and caffeine it seems had led to palpitations and strokes.
Can sleeping on the job be the answer to forced insomnia?
Sleep deprivation is now a legitimate field of study for management. Lack of sleep is seen to lead to bad decisions, grouchy treatment of staff, and trailing sentences with missing objects and punctuation marks. Is this because sleeping is not among the calendared activities of executives? (Sir, it’s time for your nap.)
Are sleep-deprived zombies whose last eighthour sleep is but a faint childhood memory now trolling the corporate corridors and making irrational acquisitions without due diligence? Insomnia from worrying about the price of the company’s stock and the impact of laundry as a separate revenue stream for banks may be taking its toll.
A recent report (we are not making this up) notes that employees caught napping during office hours are no longer reprimanded. Sleeping on the job is not only tolerated but even encouraged by enlightened companies. Dozing off is acknowledged as mere recharging of the body’s batteries, much like a cell phone plugged and not in use while one is reading e-mail.
Will napping during work hours be actively promoted? Dormitory-style nap rooms are now part of the layout of call centers and banks — oh is the inward remittance finally here? Senior executives have their own little alcove in the office for snoozing.
The idea of napping in the middle of a business day is entrenched in Italy and Spain. The siesta is part of the union contract. While this sleeping urge had previously been pointed out as the reason why these two southern countries were lagging behind their northern neighbors, the new findings seem to indicate that the siesta advocates are just ahead of their time.
Like other quirky trends one reads about in business magazines ( the day care center is another one), the nap- ready offices of the future are simply not in evidence around here. You sleep on your desk at lunchtime with the lights dimmed, and you still get dagger looks — this is not a hotel, Buddy. Not that the nap- napper would notice this as she is mindlessly snoring and dribbling saliva on her tablet.
Sleeping around in the office (not to be confused with slang for promiscuity) is still not widespread, so what is the sleep-deprived person to do? Some anachronistic firms still consider being in REM mode at work and racking up overtime pay as simply goofing off and therefore unacceptable behavior. Most have yet to read these recent findings to see the benefits of temporary coma as a form of meditation.
Even before management theorists started to connect sleep deprivation to loss of corporate productivity (and even death), pioneers of the custom of sleep credits at work have been practicing napping as a way of inducing lateral thinking.
Secret sleepers attending slide presentations after lunch are not always easy to detect. There are clues in the rising and falling of the chest, closed eyes (they could be absorbing the effects of the local area network on their servers), and faint sounds similar to those emitted by pigs dining on an especially delicious trough of leftover paella. Any attempt of seatmates to dislodge them from Lethe’s embrace is likely to result in a sharp guttural protest not unlike the sound the same pig makes when forcibly pulled back from stuffing its face.
Even with eyes open, the crafty sleeper can be in another world. He may even seem to be staring at the screen when the slides are flashing by. His game is unmasked, though, when a question is directed at him and elicits no response. (Do you agree that call centers are a big market for our vending machines?)
Dorms are not necessary to respond to nap attacks. Often, sleepwalking on the job is what tenure and years of service are all about. Our corporate culture is just ahead of its time. When budgets are presented, it’s a matter of finding a chair at the back to meditate in. Can you please pass the blankets? n
Lack of sleep is seen to lead to bad decisions, grouchy treatment of staff, and trailing sentences with missing objects and punctuation marks.