Line of list resistance

With the information overload we encounter, lists simplify our choices for everything. The country ends up in international lists drawn up by some obscure organizations. Sometimes, these lists are not ones we want to be included in. There are lists of countries with highest unsolved journalist killings, destinations to avoid due to terrorist threats, highest number of suspects resisting arrest, worst airports, longest time for business processing, and longest travel time from airport to city center.

What organizations make these lists and how are they compiled? Most of the time, they’re surveys of people alighting from taxis and hurrying to lunch; or those with time on their hands to answer text surveys.

Media reports will furnish the list without providing any background on the issuing organization or the methodology it employs. It is enough for a bad list to exist for media to feature it prominently.

There is no appeal process for list makers. Universities get ranked too by obscure organizations based on a point-system that does not brook any challenges ( but our campus has azaleas and hibiscus bushes) or appeal process. The countries’ richest are tracked by a magazine based solely on ownership of listed stocks. Thus stocks parked under a dummy’s name are counted as the dummy’s wealth. Other assets like properties under corporate names and art collections are not tracked.

Even more doubtful in terms of an objective metric are such lists as rising stars of the entertainment world, most powerful women, or most innovative entrepreneurs.

We use lists everyday for groceries, birthday anniversaries, frequently called telephone numbers handily stored in the hand phone, and to-do activities for the day.

Some lists that portend good news get edited along the way. A list of executives to be promoted can be shorter or modified by the time it gets to the board for approval. Someone already on the list may be substituted by another name whispered in the nick of time. Congratulations based on a list with even just one name can be risky. Sir, can we now address you as CEO? (It hasn’t been announced yet.)

A list of nominees for an Oscar award in a category may be cited to boost box office appeal. Losers take comfort in being in this preliminary list, but the real reward is in leaving the other four and going up to the stage to give a thank-you speech — I also want to commend the losers who are manfully applauding this award.

Award-giving bodies like to publish the “shortlist” of those who were considered in the final judging. Some even claim being in a “long list” which includes all the applicants. These dubious listing are bannered on covers of books or introductions of guest speakers.

Thus is the Nobel able to maintain its unequaled prestige. Maybe alone among all the award-giving bodies, this prize committee does not publish the names of those under consideration. Nor do they disclose the names of committee members. The minutes of the meetings on the deliberation are only open for scrutiny fifty years after the meeting when the members who are still living may have forgotten their birthdays already. Note that there is no such thing as a “short list” for the Nobel Prize.

Of course, the resistance to honor lists is only exercised by those excluded from them. As for the other kind of list involving war criminals, fugitives from justice, corrupt officials, compromised law enforcers, and beneficiaries of illegally acquired public funds; exclusion is devoutly to be wished.

There are now such lists awaited with bated breath and fear. They are introduced a week before the announcement (next we will tackle mayors who don’t flush toilets after urinating). Is there some due process to check individual toilets? (Our list maker has various sources of intelligence among plumbers.) Anyway, the “shame game” proceeds and those not on the list breathe a sigh of relief. But… wait until the next category — businessmen who take too much food from the buffet table.

The list giver is not accountable for accuracy and there are always apologists who will step forward when the fury mounts — we’re just giving information.

It’s hard to recover from being in a bad list, which is not quite as harmless as the one of Santa on who’s naughty or nice. The recent lists have been all on the naughty side… even on how they are delivered.

Of course, the resistance to honor lists is only exercised by those excluded from them.