HANDLING THE TRUTH
“You can’t handle the truth” is one of the most famous lines in movie history. The scene between Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men is troubling and touching at the same time. The scene is poignant and makes me yearn for openness in our society — in the halls of the Senate, in the corners of corporate boardrooms, and elsewhere. However, can we really handle the truth handed out by our bosses, colleagues, friends, and loved ones? We yearn for the truth, but can we actually make the most out of the feedback that will be given to us? Are we truly ready for the truth?
In her study entitled “We Drop People Who Give Us Critical Feedback” in the Harvard Business Review blog, Francesca Gino states that “people tend to move away from those who provide feedback that is more negative than their view of themselves.” The study shows that people do not heed the advice of colleagues whose feedback is contrary to their selfevaluation, and that they tend to interact more with people whose glowing and glorious feedback abounds. As leaders in our homes, businesses, and communities, how can we handle the truth, both negative and positive?
We receive information from a barrage of sources.
Social media can now be said to be the most common source of information for people who are always in front of a computer or a laptop and for folks who constantly tinker with their mobile phones clicking, liking or searching for pocket monsters. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram provide us a venue to peer into our friends’ eyes. Gone are the days when we could find out about our friends’ days only by talking to them. Today, for better or worse, we are kept in the loop about their views on politics and society, as well as their never-ending selfies. If we comment or react negatively to our friends’ posts, will they unfollow or block us? If we always like their posts, does this mean we also wait for the same likes, smileys, and happy emoticons that constantly increase?
The instances above reveal how we handle “disconfirming” behavior. We easily drop relationships at work because of negative information, which is similar to unfollowing and blocking a friend in our social media universe. The study by Gino confirms what we usually do: we tend to retain only people who provide positive feedback in our network. However, not internalizing or not learning from negative feedback can be detrimental to our performance. At work, this can lead to an extreme case of herd mentality and to the loss of creativity and innovation in an organization. We can become guilty of trying to paint everything rosy when everything else is burning.
On the other hand, how do we provide negative feedback to others? Since we know the grave consequences of receiving negative feedback, we should also learn how to process, place, and prescribe such.
We must make sure that we are within the bounds of the ecology of the organization. Should I provide this feedback now or later? Should I provide this feedback alone or with another colleague? Should this feedback be documented or be given face to face? Every organization has ways of providing feedback, but we should not forget that for every negative feedback, there should be corresponding positive feedback because we want to balance the good and the bad.
All of us receive feedback. There is no one best way to provide or to accept it. Feedback is needed to continuously improve ourselves, our organizations, and our communities. Without feedback, we will not know if we are on the right track or not. Let us all be open to feedback and learn from it to become better not only as individuals but also as members of our community and country. BRIAN C. GOZUN is dean of the Ramon V. Del Rosario College of Business of De La Salle University. brian.gozun @dlsu.edu.ph
As leaders in our homes, businesses, and communities, how can we handle the truth, both negative and positive?