Twisting deep

WHEN I saw reports about Simone Biles pulling out of gymnastics team competition for the United States of America in this Tokyo Olympics, my first thought was how did that happen? Did she choke?

I wondered if it was a cop out by someone who suddenly got cold feet. Someone who quit in the midst of a fight. Like Roberto Duran did against Sugar Ray Leonard in November of 1980.

I was in seventh grade then and as it was a superfight on a Wednesday (Manila time), we were allowed to watch the fight in school. Yes, students were allowed to bring a portable television that where people watched. It was usually reserved for fighters like Rolando Navarrete and Louie Espinosa. That fight between Duran and Leonard was the sequel to their match that the former won.

Duran was alleged to have uttered the words “no mas” that means “no more.” He blamed American sportscaster Howard Cosell for coining the phrase. Duran said, he said, “No sigo” which is “I cannot go on.” The reason Duran said was he was suffering from stomach cramps because he ate too quickly after making weight.

However, his manager then, Carlos Eleta, disagreed saying that Duran always ate like that after a weigh in and that his fighter quit because he was getting embarrassed.

In that November re-match, Leonard returned to fighting like Muhammad Ali where he would jab then dance away. He was clearly out-pointing the Panamanian fighter who before the end of the eighth round waved his hands as if to say, he’s had enough.

So I wondered if it was a similar case for Biles.

Then came the report of her experiencing “the Twisties” which means her brain and her body are not in sync.

And I felt bad for Biles. Yes, I have heard of “the Twisties” before. Didn’t Jacoby Miles experience that mid-air and as a result of the disorientation, found herself in a bad fall that has left her paralyzed to this day.

After Biles’s pulled out, I thought long and hard about what she was saying.

However, there are many who do not believe Biles’s explanation. It’s just her losing her nerve after one bad performance, they say. Some have even called out the explanation of “the Twisties” as a form of rationalizing quitting. Seriously, it is not.

I cannot say I follow her enough to conclude anything. It’s hard to go one that instance. It was said that she experienced the same thing prior to the Rio Olympics in 2016. And yet, she did put up a performance for the ages where she won four gold and one silver medal. These things happen and you cannot predict when it will occur.

Many other gymnasts have come to Biles’s defense while also telling experiences about going through the same thing. And I believe it extends to ordinary folks in the form of disorientation.

In many ways, it’s disorientation that causes you to doubt yourself.

Have I felt that way? Yes, I have. On a train. In my car. And one time, while even attending Mass.

When I felt that disorientation, what followed was fear. And a cold sweat.

“Where am I,” I wondered to myself while struggling to make heads and tails of where I was. And I take pride in my having an excellent sense of direction and anticipation.

In recent years, much has been said and done to bring mental health to the table where one can talk, discuss, and plan for it without anyone casting doubt. Last season, the English Premier League officially made it part of their program where they set aside a day and for their players to talk about it.

The pandemic has brought this issue even more to the forefront with many suffering even during lockdown.

I for one do not think Simone Biles got cold feet. She is a bemedalled athlete and had done her routine thousands of times. Failure is something every athlete knows. They too know all about bouncing back.

And right now, Simone Biles bouncing back and finding her equilibrium is all the gold medal she needs.