Days of rain and my golf

I have often advised my golfmates to refrain from cursing every time they mishit a shot. Some violently plunge their clubs on the ground or throw them for an errant shot a la Marvel hero Thor with his hammer Mjolnir. I humored them with funny warning that it would offend the God of Golf and punish golfers with continuous rain. Lawyer Tarciso Calilung, who just celebrated his “even par” birthday (to the uninitiated, a regular golf course is par 72), compared the phenomenon to the biblical and Koranic tale when an angry God ordered rain for “40 days and 40 nights,” leading to the construction of the Ark of Noah (Nuh to Muslims).

The last time I played golf, finishing 18 holes, was more than a month ago. As senior golfers, our Tuesday Group christened by Dr. Gerry Collado as “Tgers” to spell and sound like Tiger for Tiger Woods (who said the mind of super seniors are staid and stale?) are not lacking in dedication and passion for golf. We attempted not a few times to brave the inclement weather but always we had to declare a raincheck after few holes. We always hoped against hope that PAG-ASA had made another erratic forecast, as they do often.

There were intermittent days when the weather was perfect for golf but, by irony, it always fell on our working or non-golfing days. We thought the God of Golf was really punishing us for imprecating “Goddammit” for out of bounds and wild shots.

The rains nowadays make me long for the time I was an envoy to Cairo with its golf courses (they even have a 99-hole Suleymania golf course). There, very rarely does it rain. Golfers worry about scirocco, a “hot dust-laden wind from the Libyan deserts” and other forms of sandstorm. You might think a desert country is all sand sans vegetation. But the mythical Nile river supplies The Land of the Pharaohs with abundant water which is also used to vegetate the greens and fairways of golf courses.

Golf is an opioid. It has greater narcotics and addictive effect than opium and shabu. The fairways are one sprawling magnetic field that lure and allure golfers, young and old, professional and amateurs. Golfers get their “highs” when they hit a good shot with a flawless, sweet, smooth and effort-less looking swing. They are on cloud nine when, after a round of golf, refreshed by a hot shower, they eat together, rib, tease and laugh, or argue intensely on the computation of holes or corners won for a money bet which is not even enough to pay for their meal. Roberto “Bong” Monroy contends it’s really all for the bragging rights. No wonder golf makes many “widows” out of absent husbands.

What makes golfers loco over the game? It’s an enigma that defies easy explanation.

Let me guess. The search for a perfect swing although elusive as the Holy Grail; the challenge of getting out of a sand trap which needs special skills; the regret that one could have scored better had he sank a two-footer putt; the thought that one could have avoided the “out- of bounds” penalty area or water hazard had he not pulled or pushed his swing; and perhaps the laughter, teasing, ribbing and camaraderie among regular golfmates. These and many more are the magnets.

When you see somebody adjusting his stance trying to swing an imaginary golf club, oblivious of anybody, he is not engaged in pantomime or off his rockers. He is just trying to simulate a golf swing to perfect his own to make it mechanical. That is why even top golf professionals like Spanish Sergio Garcia always execute a golf swing after a shot, trying to determine where his swing path got erratic. The golf swing is also a test of psychological and mental stability and equilibrium. It is one physical rote difficult to tame and maintain. A little distraction like a noise or sudden thought of something will bring disaster to your game. It requires full concentration.

To golfers: next time you mishit a shot, don’t curse “Goddammit!” It might offend the God of Golf and bring rains to the fairways.

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has greater narcotics and addictive effect than opium and shabu. The fairways are one sprawling magnetic field that lure and allure golfers, young and old, professional and amateurs. affectionate, perhaps to serve as an indicator of future events to come.

“What makes golfers loco over the game? It’s an enigma that defies easy explanation.