Tolerating LGBT

The wide divide between tolerance and acceptance of LGBT was recently highlighted by the controversy involving a transgender handcuffed and arrested for using the women’s restroom in a mall.

And nothing strikingly describes the divide between tolerance and acceptance, as Senator Risa Hontiveros has aptly pointed out, than the common expression, “I love my LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) friend but…”

In essence, the expression means many can only go so far as tolerating a LGBT friend, but that accepting a LGBT friend is a different matter altogether, even if one hypocritically proclaims love all around.

Other than insisting that when one loves someone there are no ifs and buts, the senator, however, did not go far enough. She failed, for instance, to show that the common expression of tolerance exactly describes how many of us cope on the personal level on the divisive LGBT issue.

Such a personal tact, which when replicated so many times over, in turn graphically shows us how our present society is coming to terms with the LBGT community, the existence of which our society cannot now deny.

It is vital, therefore, to clearly distinguish the terms tolerance and acceptance. Only by acknowledging many of us at present are just tolerating the LBGT instead of accepting them will we be able to do something about it.

Knowing how our present society, at the moment, is dealing with such a controversial issue is also important and it calls for honest analysis. It is only by honest analysis will we know the present flaws or deficiencies of how our society approaches divisive issues and which in turn allow us to work things out.

Now, anyone professing liberality in his or her views believes much work needs to be done for the honest acceptance of the LGBT; this before any talk can be made on whether the LGBT need the same rights as heterosexuals or not, like having separate restrooms.

Hontiveros sums this liberal advocacy as, “If we really love them, we’d fight that they enjoy the same rights as we do. We’d use our straight privilege to dismantle an old system that oppresses them.”

In short, anyone having liberal views has moved on from mere tolerance to the wholehearted acceptance of the idea that in our society many people do have different sexual persuasions or preferences and they too need to be treated humanely.

In stark contrast to liberal views, quite a number of Filipinos, usually with a conservative bent, can only go so far as tolerance but not acceptance. And, more often than not, this inflexible stance is anchored on the fact there are biologically only two sexes.

Nonetheless, even if our conservative is vociferously strident with his views, the fact he or she tolerates the LGBT only goes to show the inflexibility is not as harsh as it seems.

Exercising tolerance offers the possibility of a compromise, which is a good thing. Compromises are important on any controversial issue as the question here is not really on who holds the right or wrong view but rather on whether the Filipino can come to terms with other people holding different views or not.

If tolerance for LGBT is any indication, it does seem the Filipino can come to terms with each other. Filipinos, it seems, are still unwilling to go blindly fanatical when it comes to social issues. In fact, it is my belief the Filipino at present has matured enough to loathe imposing his or her views on others.

This in spite of observations the Filipino public now is fragmented and polarized into social media bubbles, courtesy of what many say tragically comes from our partisan politics.

If it’s any solace, divisiveness, whether on politics or social issues, is common in our everyday life, philosophers say. As one philosopher says, “In everyday life we make many presuppositions and assumptions about the world, have commitments and expectations about others, and would dearly love to live up to the various ideals we have acquired or invented.’’

At the same time as we all try to live up to our ideals, “we would also dearly love to hold others to the ideals we have, and would like to, in some cases, to impose commitment to these ideals on them.”

So, even if most of us Filipinos clearly expect and want others to pursue our ideals, it turns out we are also willing to meet halfway and hence the professing of tolerance.

This holds true, in my view, whether the Filipino has liberal or conservative views. We somehow have come around to the view that cutting the cloth to the present state of our society is the only way to go at resolving divisive issues.

So, is tolerance rather than acceptance of the LGBT the best thing there is for us? At the present moment, the answer seems to be yes. But that also doesn’t mean there is no possibility tolerance becomes acceptance when it comes to the fate of the LGBT.

Given this state of affairs it surely does not mean we inhibit ourselves from exploring alternatives since we still have to continue looking at actually what is happening in our society.

In short, nothing should prevent us from changing or modifying our views on anything should circumstances in our political, social and economic systems change.

As an example of how this is true is the fact that the woman’s right to vote, which many think is a given nowadays, is a right that’s not even a hundred years old. And women are still struggling for equal rights even as late as today.

In this sense, therefore, it is correct to say there is just no way for any one of us can predict whether there will be widespread acceptance of the LGBT later on or not. How this is possible is because of the basic fact our future as a people and as a country is still wide open.

“Anyone professing liberality in his or her views believes much work needs to be done for the honest acceptance of the LGBT.

“Is tolerance rather than acceptance of the LGBT the best thing there is for us?