ATOY AND MONETTE CO: STILL HAVING A BALL
She claims to have been hoping ‘for someone mature, stable, secure with himself; kind, funny and someone who would spoil me.’ And that’s who she exactly got
When they met for the first time in the 1980s, Ramona “Monette” Garcia, a dancer by vocation and avocation in her youth, and Fortunato “Atoy” Co, the popular Crispa Redamnizer basketball star, hardly had an inkling of who the other was.
“My world was all about dance,” said Monette, a dear friend whom I first met when I was conducting an oral history project about the late Conchita Sunico, founder of Karilagan Arts International to which Monette belonged.
“At that time, I was a member the Bobby Ongkiko & Friends, a dance group, and we were invited to dance with the players for a Crispa special that Gil Balaguer was producing. The venue was the residence of the Crispa owner, Danny Floro,” recalls Monette.
What caught Monette’s attention first was Fortunato’s height. “Wow, how tall he is,” was all she could think. But as to his stature in the sports world, she was clueless.
Reciprocally, the basketball superstar was not impressed by the young lady who, to him, “was just a dancer.”
But if there were no sparks of attraction at their first sight of each other, their romantic feelings developed through time, as both claim.
And smoothly, despite their coming from diverse cultural backgrounds, she being Filipina and he, Chinese. Such a thing would have been a source of discomfort and doubt for some pairs, what with all the unmentionable stereotypes both nationalities say about each other.
But Monette points out, “I didn’t think about it because Atoy seemed to be quite modern in his ways.”
“It was not a problem at all,” Atoy affirms.
Proposing via overseas call
Regardless of their roots, though, there were more important considerations like, “He was very maalaga (caring) and very mabait (kind),” Monette shares, for one.
By then aware of his status in the sports world, Monette could only be impressed
“by his humility. He was quite down to earth.”
And then, a plus point for Atoy: “He would always speak fondly of his mother. A man that is good to his mother will be good to his wife.”
As for Atoy, he recalls, “After some time of constantly being together and communicating with her, and we could talk of anything under the sun, I realized I wanted to marry her.”
She was in Frankfurt, Germany for a Karilagan tour when he called to propose.
No expectations
While they had seen the best in each other, Monette’s mother “was a little bit worried about the reputation that preceded him. But when they met him, okay naman because aside from being kind, he was respectful and they saw how he would take good care of me,” Monette recalls.
Of his parents, she says, “I’m not sure about his parents. But they were very nice to me always. I think that’s because Atoy was 29 already and they wanted to see him married. And since I wasn’t an artista (movie star), which they regarded as not ideal for their son, that compensated for my not being Chinese,”
says Monette who ended up being the only non-Chinese in the Co family then.
For Atoy, there was no problem because “I didn’t have expectations of a girl I would marry.” Neither did Monette have an ideal partner in life, although she claims to have been hoping “for someone mature, stable, secure with himself, kind, funny and someone who’d spoil me.” And that’s who she exactly got.
Getting hitched was not on their minds. Monette recalls, “We were actually just enjoying each others company and didn’t really talk about the future because our relation was quite new. Though, I felt that he was very reliable, quite simple and took really good care of me. We knew each other for less than a year when we got married.”
Theirs was a beautiful wedding on 20 January 1980. Solemnized at the Malate
Church, it was followed by a reception at Ramada Manila. Principal sponsors were Crispa boss Danny Floro and Metropolitan Theater executive director Conchita Sunico and their respective baptismal godparents. The date was the wedding anniversary of Monette’s parents. While they did not follow any Chinese tradition, the guests enjoyed a Chinese lauriat. Aside from the usual white invitations, they also had ones printed on red linen paper.
Calm and Quick-tempered
Settling down was smooth as well. It was not a problem that they each had a following, or at least admirers of their respective talents, more so on Atoy’s part. “He always watched my shows and I also always watched his games,” says Monette. “It was never an issue. I supported his basketball and he supported my dancing and modeling. If his fans approached him and asked for photos and an autograph, it was okay with me and I just stepped aside to accommodate his fans.”
To be sure, they differed in many ways, most obvious being that Monette is “quicktempered and more emotional while he is calmer.” This is according to Monette.
When it comes to shared preferences, they like going to the movies, which they miss today because public places had been closed since the start of the pandemic. They also enjoy taking long drives.
I supported his basketball and he supported my dancing and modeling.
Travel in the past had been time for periodic honeymoons. “A few years back we traveled to Istanbul, Capadoccia, Barcelona and Madrid. That was quite an adventure because we did it on our own. We didn’t join any tour group.”
Hong Kong and Japan are their favorites because of their proximity to the Philippines. “We want to go back to Spain and do the Camino walk to Santiago de Compostela,” Monette shares. “I also want to go to the Holy Land.”
Monette likes watching K-drama while he intently watches “how to fix your car” YouTube videos.
Family first
Right from the start, both put a premium on the family, while emphasizing their respective roles in raising their children. “I took care of the kids, their schooling. and household stuff,” relates Monet, who gave birth to sons Franz, Fort and Andre and daughter Christine.
They speak English at home although the boys went to Xavier, a Chinese-Filipino school where they picked up a sprinkling of Mandarin.
Atoy and Monette exposed them to Chinese culture by regularly getting together with Atoy’s side of the family. The kids, moreover, spent summer breaks in Daet, Camarines Norte with their paternal grandfather.
“Atoy is a pretty modern Chinese guy and not stuck to old Chinese traditions,” Monette reiterates. “Although he gives in to his older sisters when they say we must do or follow certain traditions, it never was a problem. We were pretty flexible and adjustable.”
Once, during the Chinese New Year, their family visited a Chinese temple with his sisters. Atoy used to give tikoy to friends, but not anymore.
As for the children, they all married Filipinos, while their cousins on Atoy’s side all married Chinese. Monette made clear that it was their choice as to whom to love and wed. Monette points out, “Besides, who am I to impose when I am not Chinese myself?”
Fun and commitment
Their advice to young people who are in a similar bi-cultural situation: “Each culture has it’s pros and cons. One just needs to be flexible and to learn to adjust and adapt and pick out the best of their respective cultures.”
The couple has come up with a formula for a long-lasting marriage. First is “honoring our commitment to each other,” according to Atoy. Monette adds, “Having fun and not taking things too seriously.”
When conflicts arise, “we talk about it,” says Monette. While admitting that “all marriages go through rough patches, we resolve them by talking maturely. We have never had screaming or throwing matches.”
Valentine’s at home
Valentine’s Day for them, long before Covid-19 days, meant “booking a ticket for a show at one of the hotels. But we stopped doing that because traffic became crazy. Once, we went up to Tagaytay for lunch. But usually, we get together for dinner with our couple friends in one of our houses. We do potluck dinner, and we have drinks.”
This year, they chose to stay at home. Anticipating that Valentine’s Day would fall on a Sunday, when many couples would want to go out, they chose to avoid the crowd since for health considerations.
While it’s still a “wait and see” time for everyone, they’re looking forward to “being vaccinated to minimize fear and maybe get a chance to do some local traveling. Then maybe, we can do some foreign travel eventually,” Atoy speaks for them both.
Just the year past, they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Theirs has been a normal life with the occasional attention given them by old basketball fans and those who remember Monette’s active years as a commercial model and dancer. Monette is thrilled that the Metropolitan Theater is reopening soon. “Our children would then have an idea of where Atoy would wait while we were rehearsing or watch our performances.”
Monette’s wish for Atoy: “For him to be in the best of health because he still wants to achieve a lot of things. And of course, I want him to be successful in his coming endeavors.
Atoy’s wish for Monette: “To continue being a good and supportive partner in all that I do. Good health and more apos (grandchildren).”