BEA ALONZO: NOT JUST GHOSTED, BUT GASLIGHTED
Gaslighters play on their partner’s insecurities; their actions do not match their words; they manipulate their partner’s relationships; question their partner’s sanity; ‘project’ or accuse their partners of the same behavior or offense; and make their partners increasingly unsure of themselves
Gaslighting used to be a relatively unfamiliar term for most people until actress Bea Alonzo claimed that she was not only ghosted by her ex-boyfriend actor, Gerald Anderson, but was also gaslighted. “I don’t want to get in trouble pero baka makatulong din sa mga nanonood (but I thought this might help others). But have you ever heard of the term gaslighting? Hindi lang ako ghinost (I was not just ghosted). I was gaslighted. I felt like garbage. I felt like I was worthless.
So I guess ‘yun ‘yung (that’s my) resentment — more than just the ghosting part,” Bea said in a recent interview.
It was in 2019 when the nation was rocked by news that the beautiful couple had broken up. The furor was because Gerald allegedly just stopped communicating with Bea, leading people to think he had “ghosted” her.
It was in 2019 when the nation was rocked by news that the beautiful couple had broken up.
To make matters worse, it was rumored then that he was seeing his Between Maybes co-star Julia Barretto. They denied any involvement then but both Julia and Gerald recently admitted they are now a couple.
Gerald has not yet spoken up about Bea’s latest allegation.
“Gaslighting, an elaborate and insidious technique of deception and psychological manipulation, usually practiced by a single deceiver, or ‘gaslighter,’ on a single victim over an extended period. Its effect is to gradually undermine the victim’s confidence in his own ability to distinguish truth from falsehood, right from wrong or reality from appearance, thereby rendering him pathologically dependent on the gaslighter in his thinking or feelings,” is how Britannica. com describes it.
In a Men’s Health article titled “7 Signs of Gaslighting in a Relationship” by Colleen de Bellefonds dated 18 July 2019, the red flags of gaslighting are defined.
Gaslighters lie and keep on lying even when caught. They play on their partner’s insecurities; their actions do not match their words; they manipulate their partner’s relationships; they question their partner’s sanity; they “project” or accuse their partners of the same behavior or offense; and they make their partners increasingly unsure of themselves.
By this definition, gaslighting is a serious offense that could affect the psychological and emotional state of the person being subjected to the act.
No one would want to be deceptively and manipulatively stripped of her will and capacity to think for herself. It’s one sick and disturbing way to treat other people, whether in a relationship or in the workplace.
The same Men’s Health article suggests that if one feels she is being gaslighted, she can talk to someone she can trust. It adds that the victim needs to “get out from under the gaslighter’s influence and have her perspective heard and understood.”
Bea also admitted in the same interview that she has now moved on. She acknowledged the persistent rumor of her dating Dominic Roque. Bea, though, does not want to put any labels on their budding relationship.
It’s good to know that Bea has bounced back after going through a harrowing breakup that even became a front page material.
Whether the allegation of gaslighting is true or not, let this be a reminder of the term and what it means. Beware of characters and circumstances just waiting to pull the wool over your eyes. Watch out for the signs. Don’t be a victim.