MATTER OF WILL POWER

BY THE TIME JOANNA WAS ON HER THIRDYEAR OF DIALYSIS, ESTERWAS ON HER FIRST. THEY TOOK THEIR DIALYSIS TOGETHER, ENJOYING AND SHARING THEIRLIVES.

Ester, a librarian, has Stage 1 diabetes, and she has this gnawing fear. She had a friend whose legs were amputated due to gangrene caused by diabetes. She had another friend whose diabetes led to a stroke and lived in a wheelchair. They are now both dead. Every day, she goes to Mass, praying not to have terminal diabetes, because it is a genetic ailment. Her mother and uncle died of diabetes. Her best friend, Joanna, who is very rich, to whom she confides her deepest feelings, called her up.

Joanna: I’m sorry, Ester, it is just now I am telling you this. I didn’t want you to worry. I have terminal diabetes, which has affected my kidneys. I have been having dialysis three times a week for the last two years. (Ester is shocked and speechless.) Hello, are you there?

Ester: Wow. And you tell me just now?

Joanna: I am sorry. I am a coward.

I did not have the heart to tell you.

Ester: Two years? That must have cost millions.

Joanna: No worry. I am rich, remember?

Ester: Do you get depressed?

Joanna: At first, I wanted to die. I withdrew from the world, my friends, my work. I was sitting in total darkness. But I read a lot of books during the three-hour dialysis, books about people who had the strength to fight back, pick themselves up, people who lived good lives in spite of severe ailments — cancer, diabetes. Their stories have strengthened my spirit. Now, I am no longer afraid or depressed. It’s a matter of will. I am happy. Every moment of my days is full.

Ester: Wow. Fantastic. You don’t show signs of terminal diabetes, or the hassle of nine hours of dialysis a week. When we go out to eat, you don’t show it.

Joanna: Yes, I am amazed at myself. My days are full. No time to think to get depressed. I immerse myself in my realty business, except on dialysis days. I sell high-end house and lots to high-end people. And I am making a lot of money. Talking about the rich getting richer.

Ester: I have Stage 1 diabetes.

Joanna: Don’t think about it. Immerse yourself in what your heart yearns for. Get out of your shell. Never mope. The secret is to pour yourself into others and things that give you meaning, things you want to live for. Never let absurdity creep in. When you find meaning, grab it.

Ester: I admire you. Three times dialysis a week and you’re on top of the world. Wow.

Joanna: When you get depressed, your sickness doubles. That’s the problem with our bodies. They are affected by our souls. If your soul sees darkness, your body reacts. Promise me you will try. It’s a matter of will.

Ester: And prayer. Talking to the Lord uplifts me somehow.

Because of the genetic factor, Ester reached Stage 4 rapidly in spite of her happy disposition, which Joanna taught her. But she was not worried. She was never depressed. Then the fateful day came. She needed dialysis just like Joanna.

Joanna: Don’t worry about it, Ester. I got you covered.

Ester: I remember, you’re rich, right? (They laugh.)

By the time Joanna was on her third year of dialysis, Ester was on her first. They took their dialysis together, enjoying and sharing their lives. They gorged themselves in fine dining, being careful to avoid sweets and carbs.

Joanna: Why don’t you go into business and forget your boring librarian job? I’ll give you start-up capital.

Ester: I have a better idea. Let’s put up a diabetes center, 20 machines.

Joanna: Now you’re talking.

Ester: Charge the rich and no charge for the poor. How’s that?

Joanna: Wow. You’re good.

And so, they set up a diabetes center for the rich and poor, and had the time of their lives. The called the center “poorlittlerichboy.” They went to Mass every day, except on dialysis day, to thank the Lord for their fortunes, and pray, not for themselves, but for their patients.

NOW, I AM NO LONGER AFRAID OR DEPRESSED. IT’S A MATTER OF WILL. I AMHAPPY. EVERY

MOMENT OF MYDAYSIS FULL.