COVER STORY
Catriona Gray uses her good influence to incite positive change and make a lasting difference
It’s 8:00 AM and I’m nervous. I’m sitting in the hotel lobby in one of the country’s central business district’s hotels, waiting for a very important phone call. When the phone rings, I’m paralyzed; I can’t breathe. It’s Esther Swan, talent manager of the Miss Universe organization, telling me that she and Ms. Universe Catriona Gray (and her bodyguard) are ready to come down to the lobby. When I volunteered at the office to let my car be used as the pick-up, it hadn’t occurred to me that I would also have to be making conversation. I was only prepared for the interview; suddenly I was going to be face to face with a person who feels like the most famous woman in the world. After all, the Miss Universe competition for Filipinos is like our bread and butter. Each year, rain or shine or disastrous political consequences, we watch with breathless anticipation, hoping our bet makes it and is crowned by that iconic Mikimoto headpiece. I had thought myself immune to it but faced with the prospect of meeting Catriona, all normal thinking flew out the window.
When she appeared at the hotel entrance, she greeted me warmly. Dressed simply in an orange hoodie with her hair up in a ponytail, she was fresh-faced, radiant, relaxed, and ready to get on with the day. In the car, on the way to the shoot, she and Esther made small talk, laughing when they noticed her picture on an advertising hoarding. The sound of her laughter was surprising; it was loud and boisterous, unexpected from someone like her. But it was the sound of laughter from someone who enjoys life and is thankful for every joyful thing that has happened to her this year.
WHEN A DREAM COMES TRUE
Later, as makeup artist Jelly Eugenio gets to work on her perfect skin, Catriona candidly tells me it was always the goal to win. “You don’t go after a dream without setting your sights on something,” she says, frankly. Not a dream as big and unfathomable, as time-and-life-consuming as Miss Universe (before winning the Beauty pageant industry’s biggest crown, she also placed Top Five at Miss World, making her the only pageant contestant in the current century to have made Top Five in both competitions and eventually winning Miss Universe). What she didn’t realize were the eventual connections she would make with people. “I didn’t expect that people would be so touched by my journey or connect so much with me,” she says.
She says she doesn’t remember what she was thinking the moment Steve Harvey announced her name. “I was in a dream-like state. How do you even process the moment when a dream comes true?” she asks. “You could see it in my face, I was so spaced out.” The moment it all became real to her was when she looked to the crowd and saw her mom in tears and her dad speechless. “After that, I thought to myself, “Oh my God, I’m Ms. Universe,” she says, laughing at the memory.
After the crowning, the celebratory walk, the confetti, and the celebrations, Catriona was able to watch the video of our kababayans singing the national anthem outside the pageant venue at Nonthaburi Province, Thailand. “That’s another moment when it sunk in,” she mentions. It also allowed her to reflect on the importance of the crown to the Philippine people, something that was even more apparent during her homecoming parade. “I was awe-struck, every single day for about a week. I was bought to tears almost every single time because I could never wrap my head around how many people I was able to connect with,” she says. “And the amount of pride I was able to inspire in so many people is something I never expected.”
Outside of the Philippines, Catriona was surprised that non-Filipino fans of the pageants remained responsive to her. “I was treated warmly by all the supporters, which I didn’t expect would continue after the competition, because I thought maybe it was just because I was a candidate,” she says. “I was pleasantly surprised to find that even as a reigning Miss Universe, the support was still there.” Indeed, I told Esther afterwards that when I was in Bangkok just days after the competition, salesladies would excitedly tell me how much they loved her, and her viral ‘lava-walk.’
A NEW KIND OF INFLUENCER
The biggest thing for Catriona is having a much bigger platform to reach out to the causes she believes in. She remains passionate about her country, adding that the win wasn’t just for her, but for her charity work in the Philippines. “I wanted people to look at my reign and see Catriona reflected in it,” she says. “And if they look at my year, they will see that the charitable aspect was one of its strongest factors. For me, it’s always been about giving back to people.”
In the answer during the pageant’s Question and Answer portion that won her the crown, Catriona mentioned Tondo, Manila. The subject remains near and dear to her heart. “A lot of people assume it was only a problem in the 80s, they think of Smokey Mountain and it seems like a problem in the past,” she says, “But the people who live there still face the same challenges, still need the same outreach. They still need resources.”
One of the things she is most proud of is that Young
Focus, an NGO she works with, had their entire financial budget covered for 2019 after her win. It means that underprivileged children and young people in Smokey Mountain will have a chance for self-development through education. “It was very fulfilling for me,” she says.
As an agent of change, Catriona believes that she is a different kind of influencer. “These days influencer means having a big social media following, but influencer can also mean you’re able to empower people through what you do,” she says. “To show people how they can get involved in their community and that’s what I did.” After her reign, she plans to continue pursuing that line of work. “I don’t see it as being limited to my year of being Miss Universe,” she says. “I feel like I’ve been given a launchpad to be able to pursue my next dream.”
“These days influencer
means having a big social media following, but influencer can also mean you’re able to empower people through
what you do”
“I feel like I’ve been given a launchpad to be able to pursue my next dream.”
BEYOND THE SURFACE
When Catriona was 20, she became her family’s sole breadwinner. An only child, she says she was fortunate that her parents were very supportive. “I’m just really grateful that I’m able to provide for them,” she says. Very much the same person, she believes that while she has grown in experience, she still feels like herself. With feet firmly planted on the ground, she shares that it still surprises her when she meets a group of fans that tell her how much she has influenced them. “I never expected that, because I still feel like a normal girl, especially when I come back to the Philippines,” she says.”
According to Catriona, the biggest value in herself she has stuck to is authenticity. Cognizant of the fact that people only tend to see the airbrushed façade of beauty pageants and that it doesn’t offer much of a chance for the audience to relate to her, she is always willing to share the hard work behind the scenes: the difficult moments of defeat, the long hours, the end of the adrenaline high. “I want to share that because I’m not a beauty queen first, I’m me first,” she says. “I feel like that’s when a beauty queen is most influential when people can see themselves through her, whether it be in the service she does, or in pursuit of a dream. I’ve always wanted to connect with people in that way.”
Are beauty pageants still worth joining? Catriona still believes so, and it’s not just because she happens to be the current Miss Universe title-holder. “The surface perception of a beauty pageant is the swimsuit competition, or even just the night itself,” she says. “People don’t see what goes on behind the scenes, and I would say, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover.’” She states that being a spokesperson and standing for something goes beyond showing her body on stage. “Yes, the pageant aspect is part of it, but if you take me for an example, I’ve always tried to show something beyond that. Where else can you get a congregation of women from all over the world to collaborate together? It doesn’t happen very often.”
“I want to share that because I’m
not a beauty queen first, I’m
me first,I feel like that’s when a beauty queen is most influential when people can see themselves
through her, whether it be in
the service she does, or in pursuit of a dream. I’ve always wanted
to connect with people in
that way.”
SPEAKING FOR HERSELF
I had an image that all the beauty queens, especially ones trained in the Philippines, had to tow the party line and answer in words that were vetted and approved. In recent years, there has been a shift in that sort of thinking and Catriona is very much at the forefront: a beauty queen who thinks for herself and isn’t afraid to speak up for what she believes. “I’ve always had something I wanted to say, I just now feel like I’ve been given such a huge platform to say it,” she says, mentioning that the work of a spokesperson fulfills and challenges her. “Being able to have a stand with my audience, even outside the Philippines has been really amazing,” she says. “It opened my eyes also to have a diverse outlook with what issues affect not just the Philippines but other places in the world.”
Mindful of the position she’s been put in, Catriona is aware that what she says matters. “Speaking comes with a lot of responsibility. You have to be well versed in what you are talking about because with such a huge platform, that’s a big responsibility to have. I want to always be educated about what I’m talking about,” she says. Because she places a huge emphasis on knowledgeable about her beliefs, she isn’t wary of any pushback from naysayers. “I’ve always wanted to be vocal about causes I care about even though it might not be the accepted belief,” she says, “Sometimes that rubs people the wrong way but I have to stand for something.”
The trick, she says, is to say it the right way. “We should all be mindful of the way we deliver things, because in this day and age where information is so accessible and people can just spout whatever, sometimes it comes out in a mean way if you’re not aware of what you’re saying,” she says. “So I’m always aware of how I say things, how I approach things and how I share my point of view. I always want to educate, not polarize. You can’t just fight people, you need to have a discussion.”
“We should all be mindful of the way we deliver things, because in this day and age where information is so accessible and people can just spout whatever, sometimes it comes out in a mean way if you’re not aware of what you’re saying.”
“You’ll never please everyone, but I think it’s important to turn the attention to the people who are saying
it because the emphasis is always on how the victim
responds.”
A CONSTANT LEARNING PROCESS
A few months ago, Catriona did a Q&A session on Twitter, where she spoke, among other things, about body shaming. It came after disparaging comments about her weight from another beauty queen, and Catriona did not hold back on the social media platform. She said, “Body shaming is hurtful and [should] never be tolerated. If anyone reading this too has been body-shamed, I know how it feels. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience that. But know that you are more than your appearance. You are a capable, unique and worthy person. And you are never alone.
Having been body-shamed in the past (by a former beauty queen, no less) it was important for me, and other young women, to read. “I feel like I’m a healthy size, and if I’m being body-shamed, what about young girls that look at my body and think, ‘what standard are we trying to aim for?’” she says. “You’ll never please everyone, but I think it’s important to turn the attention to the people who are saying it because the emphasis is always on how the victim responds. Why does it need to be that way? We need to address those people saying those things because they need to change their values and stop feeling like it’s okay to say those things because it’s not.”
Catriona believes it’s important for everyone to define success in his or her own terms. “Other people always tell us what success looks like. My biggest advice is that you have to learn how to define that for yourself,” she says. “Because otherwise, you’ll never find your happiness, if you’re always trying to find that definition in other people. It’s always changing and no one can keep up with that.” Life, she says, is a constant learning process that you need to keep working on.
“I feel like I’m a healthy size, and if I’m being bodyshamed, what about young girls that look at my body and think, ‘what standard are we trying to aim for?”
A STEPPING STONE
She tells me that while things have generally been smooth sailing, one of the hardest things to deal with is her new lack of a private life. “People feel that when you’re a public figure they’re entitled to every part of you,” she says. “It’s like you’re consumable for the public and that’s very overwhelming sometimes.” She has also developed a newfound caution about whether or not people want to be close to her for her or for her status as Miss Universe. Luckily, her tight-knit friends are still the same people. “I’m very happy that I’m surrounded by an amazing group of friends and family,” she shares.
On the whole, the negatives don’t take away from the positives, one of the very biggest being able to live in New York. “I’m a huge Broadway fan, so I’m able to go and watch my favorite Broadway musicals,” she says. She also loves trying a wide variety of cuisine available in the city, which is why she isn’t too homesick for Filipino food. “I don’t miss Filipino food too much because it’s widely available there and I’m back home so often for work,” she says, laughing. During the shoot, Esther had mentioned that Catriona was craving sinigang, so we gladly ordered some for her.
I asked her what she was she was going to miss the most, when her reign ends in Atlanta, Georgia, this December. The only thing, she says, is living in New York because Catriona believes everything else will continue. “I’m not sad that it’s ending because when I won I knew I would only have a year. That’s how it works,” she says. “This was never the end goal, this was just a stepping stone. It’s time for another girl’s life to change now.”
“This was never the end goal, this was just a stepping stone. It’s time for another girl’s life to change now.”