Finding My Unicorn
Whether you’re a first-time mom or a veteran with 10 kids, motherhood isn’t going to be easy, or perfect.
Ihave been a mother for almost five years now and balance is definitely my unicorn. I think the longer you are a mother, the better you get at tricking yourself into thinking you have found balance or at the very least some sort of formula that works for you.
When you first become a mom, you wonder if you’ll ever be on an even keel again. The new responsibilities take some getting used to. I knew that balance would be virtually impossible at the start but I was looking forward to finding it once I became a veteran. Now that I’ve somewhat gotten the hang of being a mommy, I still feel nowhere closer to having that Zen-like calm of knowing everything in my life is in harmony. I often feel pulled to a million different directions, all the while wondering if it is physically possible to split myself into three. When the cloning program becomes a reality, I’m signing myself up!
There are so many things I need to do that I don’t get done. There are so many things I want to do that will probably not be a possibility for at least the next 10 years. I’m okay with that. I have made my peace with that.
But that does not prevent the everyday battle of keeping everything I’m juggling in the air together from stressing me out. Surely, there’s a way to get all of them done and be happy with the way they are all being done. I do keep
‘I would see other moms do it with such finesse and I’d wonder what I am doing wrong, or if there is a parenting secret I don’t know. Then again, I’d remember how people are all pretty good at faking it. Perhaps, they, too, are struggling, just as much as I am.’
most of my balls in the air most of the time, but I’m always rushing around trying to keep them all up there. There’s never a time I feel completely relaxed.
Between family—husband, two children, and another one on the way—and work assignments, not to mention school responsibilities, social obligations, and my sanity, at least one always gets dropped onto the proverbial floor. When that happens, I would feel like a failure.
I’d try to cheer myself up by repeating this mantra: There is only one of me. But then, I would see other moms do it with such finesse and I’d wonder what I am doing wrong, or if there is a parenting secret I don’t know. Then again, I’d remember how people are all pretty good at faking it. Perhaps, they, too, are struggling just as much as I am.
Maybe, as I become an old hand at this mommyhood gig, I will learn valuable tricks and insights on how to prioritize and shift responsibilities without feeling all the stress and the guilt. I guess, it is just a part of our learning adventure as mothers and I need to loosen up the reins and not strive for perfection. After all, nothing about motherhood will ever be easy. It will always be imperfectly perfect. If any of you mamas out there have any tried-and-tested ideas and solutions, please do share! I would love to hear them! We, moms, have to stick together.
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