Everyone needs to be appreciated
In this nit-picking, faulty-finding world, people welcome sincere words of appreciation, words of encouragement, and words of praise. Simply because they have positive impact in our lives. No wonder, people remember us not for who we are but for how we make them feel. The problem with many of us, however, is that we are so preoccupied with the faults of others. We never see the best in other people. We never compliment them. We never make them feel important. We never believe in the power of positive praise/encouragement. Until the person dies. Then we realize praise is due him. Too late! The dead cannot read his tombstone.
One of the deepest cravings of human beings is the need to feel appreciated and to feel important. Fortunately, there are many people who refuse to see the bad in anyone. We read in biographies and autobiographies of great people of different nationalities, how somebody they know influenced their lives by giving a word of encouragement, assuring them, stimulating them, and inspiring them to make the best possible use of their potential abilities. And the great people lived up to the compliments and encouragement that they received.
On the other hand, there are people who have bitter outlook in life and every word that comes out from their lips are hurting statements and comments that belittle others. What is tragic is that these hurtful remarks are emotional excess baggage that some people carry up to their adult years. While others bring the hurtful negative remarks to their graves. Negative remarks breed rebellion, hatred and criminal tendencies. Negative remarks result in many drop- outs from schools. Negative remarks deaden our zest for living.
Let me share with you a true success story of how one positive comment, a word of encouragement transformed Mary Kay, an American woman into an achiever in the world of cosmetics.
A married woman with two young children to support, Mary Kay started working in Stanley Home Products. She did not perform well compared to the other women but she did not lost hope. Later, there was a national convention organized by Stanley Home Products in another state. She attended the convention after borrowing some funds for her transportation and hotel room. She just took along with her cheese and crackers which she ate for the three days. The convention was stimulating. On the third night, Mr. Stanley Beverage, president of the company placed the “Queen of Sales” crown on a tall slender brunette – no other than Mary Kay.
As Mary Kay walked down the receiving line to shake hands with President Stanley Beverage, she said: “You don’t know who I am tonight, but this time next year you will, because I am going to be the Queen of Sales.” Mr. Beverage responded in a positive way by telling Mary Kay: “You know, somehow I think you will.”
It was this positive encouraging comment of Mr. Beverage that challenged Mary Kay to give her best to the company. Thereafter, she was honored by Stanley Home Products for her outstanding performance in the company. Later, when Mary Kay transferred to another company, she was again a top performer.
After Mary Kay retired from her work, she became restless. Her retirement lasted only for a month. She started thinking about putting up her own cosmetics business. She did. Mary Kay cosmetics was born in 1963. Thirteen years later, in 1976 to be exact, Mary Kay Cosmetics had already 40,000 beauty consultants and directors all over the United States selling her beauty products and sharing the Mary Kay story – understanding the value and importance of seeing the good and the potential in others. There are many reasons for the success of Mary Kay but certainly Mr. Stanley Beverage’s encouraging remark helped made the dreams and aspirations of Mary Kay became reality. By the way, Mary Kay’s business battlecry was “God comes first.”
Let’s face it. Everyone not only employees need to be appreciated. It is a basic need of human beings regardless of age. We do not outgrow this need. We need to feel valued. We need to be tapped on the back. We need to be praised. We are not robots. We are not computers. We have sensitivities. It is surprising indeed why many executives and employers neglect to interlink this basic human need with employees’ productivity, efficiency, performance and loyalty to the company.
So often said that people have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be – not what you nag them to be. Hopefully, this article will encourage the readers to be generous in giving positive remarks to other people. We do not live by bread alone. We all have that need to be recognized and feel important to avoid having psychological malnutrition. When we share joy and encouragement to others, it comes back to us a thousand fold.
Have a joyful day!