THE BIRDS AND THE BEES

When is it time to talk to your children about sex?

I’ll never forget the day that it suddenly dawned on me that it was probably near impossible for babies to be created by a kiss on the lips. I was 10 years old, in a decade seemingly more innocent than society is now. Minutes after this light bulb moment, I approached my Mom and Dad and told them of my discovery and then proceeded to ponder, well, exactly how are babies made? My Dad looked over at my mother with wide eyes and exclaimed “I think it’s time for the birds and the bees talk!” My 10-year-old brain was alerting me that I was about to learn something that wasn’t just monumental, but also quite possibly something I might not want to hear. I also remember thinking, what the heck do birds and bees have to do with baby making.

The second day that is forever seared into my brain matter is the actual day that my darling father explained procreation to me. Somehow my Mom had opted out and left it up to my Dad. We were driving down the M4 in England heading to Slough for some reason. This basically left us with ample time for the life lecture plus a question and answer portion (which I did not take advantage of much to my Dad’s dismay). Dad was very clinical and carefully explained all the parts, the mechanics, and the reasons (love Amanda, only love). I recollect wriggling in the car seat with embarrassment, willing the seconds to go by faster.

I came away from that conversation with a new and accurate understanding of life and when I was older I was so grateful to my father for giving me “the talk.” My friends had a lot of misinformation that was passed around because a lot of it was sheer speculation as to what sex was because their parents hadn’t actually spoken to them about it.

Now when I think back on that memory, it is a cherished one. Parents who are open and talk about sex really make a difference with their children.

So, when is that golden perfect moment to have the talk? There really is no auspicious time and more likely than not your kids will be the ones to present the opportunity to you the way I did with my parents. Experts advise the following:

• Parents should discuss sex whenever children venture near the topic to open up lines of communication and lessen the taboo.

• Give body parts their correct names at an early age so that your kids know and understand what they are.

• Use books because they are a great tool to educate your children about sex and they can cover most topics that arise.

• Talk to your children about sex over the years, rather than one big talk (as my Dad did) as it is usually too much information for a young mind to process, not to mention all the in- timate details. When the information is broken up it is easier for a child to understand and digest.

Kieran, who is seven, has been skirting around the issue recently so I know it’s time to ramp up discussions. They say the most challenging part of it all is your reaction to your child. Experts say you should try your hardest to retain your composure while talking about sex otherwise your child might pick up cues that there is a stigma attached to it. Way easier said than done but we have to try our best! The birds and the bees phase is a life-defining moment for your kids so you want to make sure that they are equipped with all appropriate information to make knowledgeable decisions when the time comes.

Dad was very clinical and carefully explained all the parts, the mechanics, and the reasons (love Amanda, only love). I recollect wriggling in the car seat with embarrassment, willing the seconds to go by faster.