Failed marriage, road to friendship
It may raise eyebrows coming from Gab Valenciano but he says it in earnest: Getting married is one of the biggest decisions anyone would ever make.
It may raise eyebrows coming from Gab Valenciano but he says it in earnest: Getting married is one of the biggest decisions anyone would ever make.
A few months back, Gab grabbed headlines for his controversial split up with estranged wife Tricia Centenera. Months after parting ways, the dancer-actor has opened up on his failed marriage, saying he wasn’t totally prepared when he walked down the aisle.
“That time kasi I was in the US, and you know that I was alone there for almost two and a half years so there was that sense of parang it’s time na (to get married) kasi everybody is also getting married na. That time I was also turning 30 na din, so for me parang may ganung factor na I had to marry na din,” he said at the press conference of the ABS-CBN show “I Can Do That.”
He admitted not being totally prepared both emotionally and mentally prepared for marriage. Yes, as that song goes, sometimes love just ain’t enough.
“(You also need) understanding, patience, perseverance, faithfulness and trust. ’Pag wala lahat yan as support, love is not enough.”
Gab thinks their long-distance relationship also contributed to the breakup. Tricia was in the Philippines while he was abroad then and for some time.
Though they didn’t end up together, Gab has no regrets. He said he loved Tricia the best way he knew how.
“I loved her, I vowed to be with her for the rest of my life. But, sadly and unfortunately, we didn’t end up that way,” he said. “But one thing is for sure, I didn’t regret anything.”
If anything, Gab wishes his estranged wife all the best.
“I want her to succeed, I want to see her well, and I will do everything in my power to help and support her. But I just cannot say that I am in love with her anymore,” he said.
Although the failed marriage has caused them pain, Gab tries to take it positively believing that whether good or bad, everything is a learning process.
“I learned that from my parents,” he shared.
“Lahat ng pinagdadaanan nila na masama at mabuti, they use it as fuel to be better people. ’Yun na lang ang ginawa ko, parang instead of looking back tapos magagalit ako or I’ll feel bad, and let it pull me down, sabi ko na lang I’ll make it lift me up to be better,” Gab maintained.
With his experiences, Gab epitomizes the saying “Been there, done that,” prompting him to share advice to couples.
“The advice I give to people is to make sure that when you get into something this major - actually anything in life, business, marriage, friendship – whatever it is like this, we need to be prepared for it,” he said.
“For marriage, you need to be one million percent prepared because it is that major eh, hindi na siya basta-bastang bagay na madaling pasukin.”
Gab said he and Tricia are now in a better place. He revealed they are trying to rebuild friendship.
“It was a very rough patch for us, but we are in that aspect of building our friendship. You know 2016 was a very tough year not just for us but for many people and I believe that 2017 is a very very good step forward for all of us.”
Asked to describe his current relationship with Tricia, Gab said they’re “not best friends yet,” revealing they even went through a ‘I hate you, I’ll never wanna see you again’ stage.
“Siyempre ’pag galit ka may mga nasasabi ka. But at the end of the day, may pinagsamahan kami, minahal ko din siya. So, I think it’s unfair for both of us to throw away what could be a good friendship,” he explained.
“I’m very open to that, kasi sayang ’di ba? May pinagsamahan kami na sobrang mabuti. Why throw a potential friendship?” he added.
However, Gab admitted building a friendship with a former partner is not that easy.
“Separation is never an easy thing,” he noted. “I hope dumating ’yung time na maging okay kami, na we could talk comfortably.”
Gab is thankful Tricia communicates with him occasionally.
“We still keep in touch,” he said. “Actually siya nag text siya na parang ‘Hey I hope you’re okay,’ okay naman kami, we’re talking and of course, ’yung aso namin namimiss ko na din.”
Is there a possibility of reconciling? Gab has not thought of it yet.
Right now, Gab thinks the best way for them is to focus on their respective careers.
“We both have different priorities. Nakita ko din na medyo busy na rin siya and we’ve actually talked about seeing other people,” he said. “We are in that openness na.”
The dancer shared that if Tricia starts seeing someone, and she sees him as a life partner, he will be first to congratulate her.
How about him? Is he dating someone now? Gab shook his head.
Friendship Filing for divorce
Gab and Tricia actually married three times – once in the US, and twice in the Philippines. With that, the former couple has to file papers in the US in order to be legally divorced.
Gab did not reveal the details of the legal proceeding of their separation.
“The separation and legalities are already in process. All the details are in process already, and I think it will happen within the next month. I would much rather answer when it is clear, but definitely we are trying to resolve that at the moment, which is to legalize the separation,” he said.
The two have yet to file the documents in the US, saying they need to finalize things before they do so.
“We are trying to resolve everything at the moment to legalize the separation.” (With report from Jojo P. Panaligan)
Siyempre ’pag galit ka may mga nasasabi ka. But at the end of the day, may pinagsamahan kami, minahal ko din siya. So, I think it’s unfair for both of us to throw away what could be a good friendship.’