Lessons from my Mama
IAM writing this on the afternoon of Mother’s Day. As expected, social media feeds are flooded with tributes to, and photos of mothers, of all sorts. To be honest, it is quite a welcome relief from my usual feed – the norm made up by #OOTD’s (Outfit of the Day), selfies, promotions, happenings, you name it – because it is a day that celebrates a most important person in our lives. The one who brought us to being. Suffice to say, mostly everyone is convinced that their own mother is the best. And while no one is perfect, I think that we are somewhat predisposed to believe that the person who raised us, is as close to the definition, and living example of perfection. Yes, there are times that we argue, and assert our own wishes. Other times when we would have wanted to do things differently, but end up succumbing because “mom said so.” But most of the time, we listen. Because most of the time, our mother’s are our safe house. No one knows our hearts in quite the same way that our mother’s do; and in turn, there is perhaps no one else we love like our moms. Rightfully so, because their love for us is magnanimous and unconditional. It is a boundless kind of love that knows no limits. And while this is will actually come out for all of you to read a week after Mother’s Day, I think it’s a good a time as any – for one, the craze has probably already died down, and let this serve as a reminder that for the queen of our lives, everyday should be Mother’s Day. Allow me to share with you five of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from mine:
1. Mother’s know best – they really do. And while we often hate to admit it, we always come to the realization that we “should’ve listened to mom” right after that very moment we do the complete opposite of what she tells us to, and fall flat on our faces. As frustrating as listening to them and doing what they tell us to do may sometimes be, just think about the time she picked you up from rock bottom after you did exactly what she told you not to do. Isn’t that double the frustration? But after the seemingly never ending lecture and sermon, what ended up happening? She took you back in her most loving embrace, and comforted you till you were whole again.
2. Pressure only means she sees potential and she believes in you – You know that time you felt that she was being unreal with her demands and expectations? It only means she knows you have more to give than what you are giving. If there is anyone who can push us beyond what we think our own capacity is, it is our moms. And while motherhood they say is also quite the learning curve, we, as children, must bank on our mother’s experiences and trust in her instincts. Because no one
3. Leading by example is the only way – And maybe half the reason I can be so demanding of myself in making the most out of everyday and seizing every opportunity is because I had the front row seat to one of the greatest examples this world will ever see. I was raised to believe that with privilege comes responsibility; that time is golden, and punctuality is the most basic form of respect; that it is only fair to demand of others what you personally are able to give yourself, and I do feel that these have transformed into very important aspects of my being, and my own way of life.
4. Live gratefully – Life isn’t perfect; of that we are all very sure. Some days are much grimmer than others. But even in the darkest of days, there is still something to be thankful for. Never cease to find the silver lining around every storm cloud that hovers around you. Adversity can bring out the ugliest of realities and shock you with the harshest of truths, but it can also turn out to become one of the most enlightening and nurturing of experiences if you allow it to be. Be sensitive to, and of those around you. Be grateful for the fiercely loyal ones who stick by you – a fewer precious gems are worth more than a thousand fancy rocks.
5. Have faith – Prayers are powerful, and I cannot stress this enough. Many people are shocked when they find out how prayerful I am “at such a young age” but that’s just how it has gradually grown through the years. I do believe though that I still have so much leaps and bounds to make in my spiritual life, and that everyday is a work in progress – an opportunity I am always thankful for. I grew up alongside very prayerful, devout and religious women, my mom included, who does not only go to mass every single day, but begins and ends her day in prayer. I have seen my mom go through some of the most merciless hardships that one would wish on no one, but she has always faced it with so much grace, strength and resilience that I believe can only come from her strong faith and prayerful way of life.
We all live our lives wishing and aspiring to become even half as great the person as our mother’s are. Yet, even on our very best of days, they come second to none. And that is very much okay – after all, they were the ones who carried us for nine months, brought us in to this world, changed up their priorities and have raised us with the most precious kind of love this world will ever know. To all the mother’s out there, and to my very own – on the days that you doubt whether or not you are doing or have done the right thing, always remember this: in the eyes of your children, you have been, and will always be the greatest. Because no love can ever compare, nor come close to yours.