I’m not Ok, but that’s Ok!
SUPPOSE, before the party starts, the host says: “Before we approach the buffet table, let us loudly proclaim to one another how selfish, insensitive, and greedy we are, and let us beg pardon for the hurt we have inflicted on one another.” The guests would likely find that awkward and inappropriate. They come to a party, not a guilt trip.
But, that’s how we begin the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. We begin by honestly admitting our brokenness. We offer not shared strengths, but shared weakness. We openly acknowledge that we, like all the rest of humanity, are struggling with the fact that we are not OK. For, unless we realize the stranglehold of sin in our life, we cannot truly appreciate the Easter victory of Christ, which we commemorate every time we celebrate the Holy Eucharist. The Mass is Jesus’ way of reminding us: “You may not feel OK, but for me you’re OK.”
Many lucrative industries today capitalize on our tendency to think: “I’m not OK.” They would certainly go bankrupt if we stopped feeling guilty and ashamed of who we are.
The fashion industry, for instance, glorifies women who look malnourished and skeletal, almost like walking hangers, to draw attention to the dress, not the person. Thinking that they’re not OK if they’re not as thin as fashion models, many women become anorexic, starving themselves to death.
The corporate world, ruled by shrewd and efficient moneymakers, make manymen feel they’re not OK unless they have their own companies, play golf at their leisure, wear signature suits, and sport luxury cars. With very low self-esteem, they go through life thinking they’re failures, driven to selfdestructive activities like drinking and various forms of addiction.
The cosmetic industry also thrives by exploiting our toxic shame for not being physically fit and attractive. How many women and men waste their precious money for beautifying, slimming, and whitening products, or for painful surgical procedures? Facial blemishes and visible signs of aging create the uncomfortable feeling of being unlovable.
Worst of all is the lucrative self-help industry made profitable by celebrity mental health experts, psychics, palm readers, astrologers, talk-show hosts, life coaches, and new age devotees. Presuming to know exponentially more about nature, the soul, and the mind, they cater to a large breed of lemmings who feel OK only while listening to these “experts” but afterwards revert to feeling busted and defective.
At the root of toxic shame and guilt is the wrong belief that we must be attractive enough, normal enough, sane enough, rich enough, successful enough, in order to be accepted by society. We wrongly think that if we fall short of these standards, no one will love us.
Self-help programs, life coaches, business and corporate lecturers, fashion and beauty experts can give us explanations and momentary relief from our toxic shame and guilt, but the Eucharist grants us forgiveness. A forgiveness that allows us to accept that we are flawed, imperfect creatures. For without this acceptance, we shall never learn to forgive ourselves, and we will be always compelled to say: “I’m not Ok. I am guilty and ashamed of being me.”
The Eucharist is a reassurance that if we drop our pretensions and excuses and stand before God naked and vulnerable, we will be accepted, forgiven, and blessed. God may be disappointed in the crazy things we do but He is never disappointed in who we are.
You think you’re not OK? In the eyes of Jesus who died for you, you’re the BEST. Come celebrate the Eucharist and listen to his words: “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never be hungry; he who believes in me will never thirst” (John 6: 34-35).