Silence, Tai Chi, and art
IN Conchitina Sevilla Bernardo, one finds that rare combination of intelligence, talent, and beauty. A former fashion model and founder of Karilagan, a finishing school, and the “doyenne” of social graces, she also served the government as vice mayor of Makati and member of the Movie and Television Review Classification Board. She has authored “Being Truly Filipino,” a book on national identity, and writes occasionally for a national daily. She spent several years in Spain where her husband was the former ambassador.
In the book, “Finding the Sun” where we both contributed reflections and reminiscences about our lives, Conchitina confronts what most of us now face — aging. And she shares with us how silence, prayer, Tai Chi, and art (yes, painting!) have helped her overcome the consequences of growing old. Let me share with you her inspiring account of how she has accepted the inevitable, and how she not only coped with “the business of aging” but also how she successfully achieved happiness and fulfillment. In this story, one can empathize with the struggle the writer had gone through, and recognize as well her depth and spirituality:
“One day, I faced my mortality and realized that unless I started dealing with aging and not wallowing in the accompanying depression that it bring, I was going to spend the rest of whatever remained of my life in a negative space. I wasn’t going to let this happen.
“Somehow, at this stage in life, you either get exceedingly active, or you shift towards nurturing your soul convinced that it is the only part of you that lives on. That’s the way it always has been with me. I turn inwards and pray. I am a person who thrives on silence. I look for quiet and in those tranquil moments, I have had wonderful encounters with God through scriptures. Praying is what keeps me together. I pray in the morning and at night and offer my activities as a form of prayer.
“I do have a relationship with God. When I pray, I sit down, close my eyes, and call to Him, “Abba, Father,” always in a whisper. The prayer word is like a feather duster that ever so gently brushes my unceasing thoughts away. My spirit, then, settles somewhere in the Center. It is absolutely delightful. Silence is my prayer. I say nothing because he already knows all my needs before I have started.
“I am quiet, serene, very still, and my breath is hardly perceptible. Sometimes it ceases, but I hardly notice. This is why it is lengthy. It s quiet contemplation. I am with Abba, and He is with me…in silence. You do not want it to end. When it does, the Our Father, said slowly and quietly, brings you out of the center into the present. You are at peace. Truly at peace. This quote explains the process. “Silence is God’s first language; “Everything else is a poor translation. “In order to hear that language. “We must learn to be still and rest in God.’ (Fr. Thomas Keating)
“Two years ago, I couldn’t quiet my thoughts, I couldn’t reach my Abba. The desert I was in was dry, uninviting, like saw dust in the wind. I was pitying myself and encouraging myself to just wallow in whatever this feeling was. I became very vey sad.
“Gilda Reyes, head of Sunshine Place Recreation Center, and I pray together, on Mondays and our prayer group. She encouraged me to visit Sunshine Place. No longer able to do strenuous exercise, she suggested I learn Tai chi. I did. It has been the best that I have done This is a centuries-old martial arts practice from China. The unhurried, methodical poses of Tai chi are meditative and focus the mind. The movements are deliberate and precise. They open us and liberate your Chi, the energy channels that flow through your body
“I met Fidel Sarmiento, president of the Art Association of the Philippines, who told me, ‘There is an artist in everyone. You just have to release it! He is my maestro, my teacher.’ It has been so wonderful to find that I can, in fact, paint, and that the artist within me can create, and has been awakened.
“When you come to this stage in life, it really does not matter how many things you can do. What is important is the passion with which you can do with limited things. I find Tai Chi challenges my memory and opens my energy channels. I find painting invigorating as it releases my creative juices. I find prayer a great source of comfort and nourishment for my spirituality. I am now in a better place.
“I am filled with gratitude. Gratitude is a positive energy, and it now pervades my being for the things I mentioned and for many other other blessings. I am today, truly very happy.
“In Sunshine Place, I have met kindred spirits. Now, we are friends. We often share a meal, laugh at each other’s stories, paint together, and listen to concerts.
“We call Sunshine Place, “Our Happy Place.”