Manila Bulletin

DON’T FORGET YOUR HUSBAND

Why it’s important to spend quality time with your spouse

- AMANDA GRIFFIN JACOB

Who here is guilty of this? I’m one of the first to raise my hand. With four children, my husband David admittedly comes in fifth or sixth (if I’m able to throw in some self care) at times when it comes to ranking in my priority list. Our kids are usually the loudest and most demanding voices when it comes to needs, that it’s quite easy to forget about everyone else.

David and I have been married for over 11 years now. In that time, we had taken two trips alone together. Our first being only three years ago. Those two trips had been so good for our relationsh­ip, but it

was never easy for me to be away from my babies. Another opportunit­y arose when one of our good friends got married in Italy a few weeks ago. When I first learned of her nuptials last year and where it would be, I had decided to bring our youngest, one-year-old Kyle, with us. The closer we got to the wedding, I realized, however, that it would be the perfect time to go solo with my husband to nurture and strengthen our marriage. Everyone concurred, most especially David!

Unfortunat­ely, I underestim­ated just how difficult it would be for me. In the three months prior to the trip, I started having major apprehensi­on about leaving my youngest. He is still exclusivel­y breastfed, he had only just

see through my distress that it was a good decision to come and be with my husband without any distractio­n. Eventually, I settled down and into a calm state that allowed me to fully enjoy David’s company without interrupti­on. I was able to focus on him, and we got back into the groove of just us. I was reminded how much I love him and his company. These things tend to get lost in the shuffle of the minutiae of day-today life and parenting.

We spent a total of eight days together. It was the best choice we have made for our marriage in quite a long time. It definitely wasn’t easy for me. I was pining for my baby every minute, but sometimes you need to really evaluate what is the best for you and your family at that particular time. David and I had a lot of quality time together, which is exactly what our relationsh­ip needed at this time. As a woman and a mother, balancing everything is impossible. Believe me, I’ve tried and failed many times. I’ve learned over the years that you have to allocate your attention and support to different facets of your life at different times. It’s not always easy and you’re sometimes accompanie­d by guilt, but it’s always worth it when you really dedicate quality time. The moral of this story, don’t forget about your husband, as you wouldn’t your children, and shouldn’t yourself.

Eventually, I settled down and into a calm state that allowed me to fully enjoy David’s company without interrupti­on. I was able to focus on him, and we got back into the groove of just us.

 ??  ?? QT WITH THE HUSBAND With David at Agriturism­o farm in Cedri, Italy
QT WITH THE HUSBAND With David at Agriturism­o farm in Cedri, Italy
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 ??  ?? MAKE TIME FOR DATES David and I spending in Bali, Indonesia and Niseko, Japan
MAKE TIME FOR DATES David and I spending in Bali, Indonesia and Niseko, Japan
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