From mom, with love
Writing letters to my children
I’ve always kept a diary growing up. In those books were all my thoughts, ideas, significant events I was going through at the moment, doodles and poems I’d write, songs I would never sing in public, even love letters I never sent out (Lara Jean, I feel you girl!).
Even as an adult, I would look back on those diaries. I’d laugh at most of them now, but there are entries that remind me of how far I’ve come as a person—and it feels nice!
And now that I’m a mom, I try to continue this process. Not just of journaling for myself, but journaling for my two kids, Ily and Aman.
Amid all this fast technology, endless Instagram feed goals and social sharenting, it’s nice to unplug once in a while. I love social media and I appreciate the ever growing technology we can all enjoy now, but there’s something about documenting life offline that gives life to my creative soul.
This is why when my kids turned one, I started writing them letters. I’ve dedicated one notebook for each of them. Ily is now five years old and Aman is three years old, and I have not stopped since. Their books are not just letters, but it has evolved into a full blown journal of their lives. I just keep filling it in with whatever inspires me that I’d like for them to remember forever.
I want to believe that more than looking back on baby pictures, my kids would love to know about how they really were at a certain age, what their interests were at the time, or even what my husband Brandz and I were like as parents of young children. It’s a great way for them to get to know who they were in the past, so they may find themselves in the present.
I know it seems like an ambitious project, but I love encouraging all moms to do this—not just for your kids, but for yourself as well. Once in a while, I flip through the pages as they affirm how much I’ve grown as a mom and how much I have learned in those five short years.
So the question begs, where and how do I even begin? To help you out, here are some super simple tips.
Get any notebook and just start writing
With anything in life, all you need to do is take that first daunting yet oh-so-worth-it first step. For me, I simply got a notebook lying around (note that I used a free pharma notebook and the Starbucks journal) and my very first letters to each of them were written on the night of their first birthdays. Don’t feel pressured to write every day. As for my letters, I only write on days when significant events and milestones take place.
Don’t worry about the look
I’m not an artist, but I do like dabbling with arts and crafts. And this is why this book of letters has evolved into what it is now. But the most important part of these books are the words that you write to your children, so keep writing, moms! Remember, the most meaningful books ever written don’t even have pictures on them.
Share every detail
In my letters, not only do I write about what happened, but what I felt at the exact moment. I also jot down things my kids say or thoughts they share with me at the time. I want them to read these letters and be taken back to that specific time and place in their life.
Create a memory capsule
These books are also an effective way to preserve those 100,000,000 art works and creations your kids make throughout their childhood. I take photos of them from my mobile phone and use an Instax Share SP-2 printer to print them out. I use double-sided tape to stick them on the books. I use Sharpie pens, washi tapes, stamps, and almost anything else to spruce up these books. Sky is really the limit as to what you can create. It’s fun, because kids are so unpredictable. You’ll never really know what they’ll surprise you with on any given day. I’ve even preserved flowers Ily has picked for me on one of our outdoor adventures.
Finally, write what’s real
Removing all the design and fluff, the most important tip I can offer is to write what’s in your heart. Unlike social media, these letters are intimate and truly personal. You don’t have to be afraid to fully open yourself, especially to your children. There are no bashers and judgers here: Just a notebook, a pen, and your innermost thoughts.
Share with them the happy times, but also the struggles, laughter, and tears. As for me, I’ve written everything from funny moments to mistakes I’ve made as a mother along with the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve even gone as far as opening up about my grief in losing my parents.
Because if there’s anything the next generation needs right now, in this world that often alters the truth, I believe it’s open conversations and unfiltered sincerity that our children need.
Let it begin with us.
You don’t have to be afraid to fully open yourself, especially to your children.